The Big Question
One of the most common questions that I receive is this: “I get so emotional around my partner, lover, friend, or parents, how do I know if the emotions I feel belong to me or belong to them?” This issue is one of the biggest traps that our mind uses to keep us stuck in the illusory world of limitation. Yes, the world of suffering, limitation, and problems is an illusion. We don’t have to live our life in a mental perspective that is not real. Let me explain how this perspective was created and how to get out of it.
Mind Basics 101
I’ve written many articles in the Freedom from Beliefs (Lies) category so this is just going to be an overview. The mind was designed to be a self-regulating mechanism. We had a thought. If the thought was right for us, true for where we want to go, and not harmful to another, there was no emotion. If the thought was not right for us, was false, or was harmful to another, there was a signal from our body in the form of emotion or nervous agitation. The emotion was like getting a zap of electrical current to wake us up and get us to think. Our emotions related exclusively to our thoughts.
This was the world of cause and effect. Thought was the cause; emotion was the effect. Cause and effect existed within the same being. If the effect was discomfort, we fixed the cause by rejecting the belief or idea. This was our navigation system through the land of earth. If we followed it perfectly, our life would be exactly what we desired it to be. When we lived in this way using this guidance, we were in Eden, paradise.
Eventually leaders enter the stage of life that wanted us to follow their ideas. They wanted power, riches, and followers (or should I say slaves). They sold us ideas that didn’t feel good. They said their words were true, and we had to believe them. Sometimes, they even said that their words were messages from God (or the Lord). When we put their words into our mind, we felt that zap of emotion. That zap was saying, “Don’t listen, they are lying. Don’t accept this belief into your mind.” But we feared them; and we felt that we must listen and obey so that they wouldn’t punish or kill us.
So this authority-induced fear caused us to listen to what others say, and to accept it as true without checking our emotional navigator for approval. We started to want the approval of others because we felt safe. Approval moved from something that occurred inside of us to something that came from another outside of us. Thus, we felt good if we were safe in their distorted world. This distorted normal cause and effect. Now the cause could be in one person’s mind, and the effect would be in another person’s mind. We became very confused.
Eventually, we came to believe that if something felt bad it was true because the political and religious leaders wanted to be able to give us bad news or false ideas without our emotional systems rejecting their words. This idea, that if something feels bad it is true, is 180 degrees from the real truth; but for most people, it is reality. Once set in place, this backwards way of thinking was passed down through the generations. This was the fall of man. Parents teach it to their children as a way of life. It has become the status quo that no one questions anymore.
So as life rolled on, we put into our own minds religious beliefs (or lies) that didn’t feel good. We put knowledge in our minds that our teachers and parents taught us which didn’t feel good. We put in political views that didn’t feel good. And eventually so much was in our minds that didn’t feel good that we had to ignore our emotions to stay sane. We created what I call clones. The clone lives in the masculine aspect of our false mind; the clone stores false information which we label to be true. When we think that false information, we don’t feel emotion anymore. We feel emotion when someone disobeys our clone. We think that our clone is right, good, enlightened, spiritual, sane, etc., because we have seen evidence of what we believe. We have manifested our beliefs. We presume that real means true.
Often when people experience what is labeled as insanity, it is because their mind has started to discriminate, and they see through this illusion; but they don’t know how to let it go. Others who don’t see clearly tell them they are crazy. People with strong emotions have the most discrimination; they have the shortest distance to travel to reach ultimate freedom. But they must learn how to let go to make that journey. Otherwise, they get stuck in the illusions of the clones because the clones don’t feel emotions when they think their beliefs. So we mistake clones for True Selves. Consequently, the clones become the cause; and those without strong clones generally live the effects. Thus, we could say that we are trapped in the matrix. Both the clone and the one without the clone are trapped. But only the person without the clone realizes they are trapped. Clones often feel free when they aren’t.
Ah! History (or His story)
The people in power eventually created a new game of life that was about suppressing their emotions in order to look powerful and good. Leaders projected their suppressed beliefs on to their followers. And followers believed the leaders. People felt stuck with the beliefs of the leaders, who had no desire to let the beliefs go since they looked good.
Basically, this is the theme of history. Leaders create beliefs in problems. They rise above the problems by projecting the problem on to the followers. Then they offer fixes to those problems while they continue to grow in power and wealth.
The followers believed that they could not let the beliefs and emotions go so they began to express the emotions in other ways like depression and disease. This is how emotion (or the feminine) got the blame for problems. Feeling the emotions and letting go of the beliefs that arise would solve the problem at the cause. But, rather than feel the emotions and let go of the lies that caused them, people continued to believe the lies and fixed the problems with medicine, therapies that don’t work, and rituals. Later, this evolved so that problems became a sort of badge of honor. Being a victim or martyr got you love, attention, and assistance. Sacrifice got you hero status.
Giving Up the False Rewards
To get out of this trap, we have to give up the false rewards of conditional love, attention, and people fixing our problems for us. We have to refuse to be the victim, martyr, or the hero. In the illusion, conditional love and attention feels good because it is all that we have. But we have to reject the lies that keep us stuck in that way of thinking in order to get to the promised land, which is the land of unconditional love, abundance, freedom, and joy. The promised land is our true life plan, it is our destiny, and it feels utterly and totally good.
To get there, we have to take back our discrimination. We have to fix the cause which is always a thought or belief. A belief is just a thought that we think with great frequency. We have to run our discrimination system on manual until our subconscious mind remembers that its purpose was to reject any thought or belief that did not feel good or that was not win-win for everyone involved. This is quite a task, but I promise you it is worth it. Imagine never having to fix a problem again. Imagine not encountering people who hate you or fight with you. Imagine a life of health and vitality without having to work for it or follow guidelines. But the price to get there is heavy. It requires a return to pure discrimination and rejection of all the lies that we have previously believed.
Back to the Question
So when people start to discriminate, they notice that 99% of everything that everyone says is a belief (a lie). Even worse, they notice how 99% of what they witness in their own mind is a lie. They notice that people say things that feel bad, but they feel compelled to believe them because the speaker is an authority or someone that they thought they could trust. Often we try to change the person with the belief. Our mind says that if they change their belief, then I won’t have this belief in me anymore. Well that just puts us in a conflict with them. And as long as we believe their lie, they are unlikely to change it. Since we have to hold on to the lie to fight it, we end up in the eternal battle of good and evil.
By now you can see that the problem goes back to our initial fear of authority. We think we need the approval of authority figures in order to stay safe. So we believe their thoughts, ideas, and beliefs so that we can have the best chance of getting what we want. But in doing this, we lose our true security, which rests in our very own true Self. The only way we can be totally safe and secure is to recognize that nothing in the illusion is real, nor does it have power.
Nice or Positive People
Now lets digress for a second. Since the new age movement, some people think they are positive because they have exercised major mental calisthenics to train their mind to resist negative thoughts. They have a belief that their mind doesn’t have any negative thoughts. But beliefs are weak, and it is just a matter of time before that damn breaks. This is why they often say that it is the nice people who end up becoming serial killers.
If you are one of these nice people, as I once was, just sit quietly for fifteen minutes and watch your mind. Don’t feed it with positive thoughts; just let it show you what is in it without judgment. All of the negative thoughts that you have been cloaking with positive words will most likely start to arise. This is reality; and you can’t fix the cause until you see it. While you might have thought you were positive, I can assure you that you were annoying the hell out of everyone around you because they felt the negative that is arising now. Our true, authentic Self is naturally positive. It doesn’t require feeding. But the false self loves us to feed it positive thoughts because it can hide in the shadows of them. This is how politicians and use car salespeople are created!
If you have been meditating for years (as I also did), you might find that when you sit and witness your mind, it is silent. Give it permission to speak; allow thoughts to arise without pushing them out. Then you will know if there is anything in your mind to let go. Silencing our minds can enlighten us, but we can’t be free until we can walk in the world among the most negative people out there and have our mind discriminate perfectly as we were designed out of the womb. Thinking our mind should be silent is a judgment. Honoring where our mind is doesn’t mean we are bad. It means we were innocent and trusted people who were not worthy of our trust. We accepted what they told us as the truth. I’ve never, ever seen a truly bad person. But, I have seen billions who believed lies.
Freedom is the Absence of All Beliefs
Remember (from other blog posts on this site) that the word belief contains the word lie to remind you that any belief is optional. The system that was originally in place within our mind challenged the statements of others and refused to accept their lies.
The perfect navigator would work like this. You hear the preacher say, “You should fear God because you are a sinner.” Now before we fell, our inner navigator would notice that the preacher’s statement didn’t feel good, and it would reject the statement automatically. The words of that preacher would not find a home in our mind. We didn’t have to consider it or try to figure out why it might be true or false. We knew it was false because our emotions told us.
But as young children, we were told that authority figures spoke the truth, and many of us were told that we should listen to them. And we obeyed because everyone comes into the world innocent and trusting. We can’t imagine that anyone would speak an untruth because we would never do so ourselves.
Even those who use beliefs improperly started out as innocent. They also were sold a false world; and they just figured that, “If you can’t beat them, join them.” In order to succeed, they rose above their beliefs and projected them on to others while they appeared to be living in a state of grace. But we feel this false superiority when we watch them or listen to them. And we no longer have to accept their words as true.
Fix the Cause, not the Effect
So now you are with a friend and the friend says, “I fear that I have a disease.” You hear their words, and they clearly do not feel good. Now you have to work your navigator on manual until it works without your assistance. You notice the emotion that hopefully is arising unless you are really suppressed, and you reject the thought as true. You may or may not feel inspired to say something to your friend. Again, if speaking up is right, you will have the right words and speaking the right words will feel good. I don’t mean you’ll be excited or jumping for joy. By feeling good, I mean you’ll feel peaceful, calm, and a sense of rightness. You won’t feel fear or angst.
Now this is really, really important. The easiest way to tell if someone is really lying is if they are excited or highly emotional. Charismatic leaders are spewing nothing but lies. Bear in mind that many professional liars have learned to create the perfect poker face. They appear calm but accepting their words as true creates emotion in us. If we pay attention to our feelings, we won’t fall for their tricks.
Now to remove this whole issue, we have to keep drilling down into our mind. You can ask yourself “Why do I believe what the preacher, teacher, parent, doctor, etc., says?” You will get answers and usually those answer have to do with obedience to authority or fear. Even a friend can be an authority in our life if they have more education or experience than us. Our society trains us out of our natural discrimination and replaces it with obedience to authority. This strips away our freedom and peace of mind. And democracy does not fix it.
In truth, no one is free until they take back their mind — until they realize that if something someone says doesn’t feel good, it is not true. We should just ignore their words; or if we are capable, love them. There are no exceptions to that rule. We know when we are absolutely free when we don’t even notice people saying things that are false; or if we do hear a false statement, we ignore it because we know it is untrue. Our mind works as it was designed fresh out of the womb and rejects everything that is false automatically. This takes practice. But it is worth it.
Embracing our Emotions
Often our mind tells us that we have to hold on to another’s belief in our mind because they are an authority, or we will need it later. No, if we cease to accept the lies of authorities, the authorities will soon lose their power over us. Then we can hold out our hands and offer our words to pull others out of the illusion of pain and suffering that has been created since the beginning of history. Emotions are the feminine guidance, the goddess; and she was silenced so that men who were hungry for power could work without her interference. It is time we embrace her wisdom and honor our emotions as sacred. They were a gift from divinity to make our life wonderful and easy. It is time to take back our mind and live freely in paradise.
If you would like to learn more, you can find additional information on other blog posts and on my other website, https://www.nolabelsnolies.com. Everyone deserves a free and joyous life!
This Post Has 9 Comments
Thanks Cathy. I’ve been thinking about what you said every day since. I still have a dilemma. How would you describe this situation?
My line of work involves lying to people. When I even begin to think about thinking about my work, I get major physical pain in my stomach (emotion). So does this mean then, that this emotion points to a belief that is a lie? Therefore I don’t need to worry about this sickening feeling at all, even though I am lying to people?
I think there is a flaw in your question because the circumstances are so bizarre. In order to do such a job, you have to psychologically reverse your mind. So you can’t trust your emotions.
I could not do such a job. I don’t have a psych reversal to do it; and if you read my blog, yours is breaking. You won’t be able to do that job and stay healthy. If you look at it from the Win-win side, you’ll see it. Is it win-win to lie to customers? Of course not. Do your True Self is not supporting you in keeping that job. It’s saying, you are too good to do that. That’s what appears to be happening. Love Cathy
May I ask then, what the difference is or how to notice the difference between emotions/feeling, and intuition? Intuition just feels right and is win/win like you say…
So if I have an upsetting feeling of doom about something I’m about to do, it’s not my intuition telling me it’s a bad idea, rather an illusion based on a belief (lie)? If this is true, man – you just saved me a lot of years.
Thanks again. I really appreciate your answers.
Hi Richelle, people use the words in many ways. But here is how I use them. Beliefs generate emotion, which is nervous agitation in your body. You have to strip the labels because they are circumstantial. We call the emotion anger because someone did something we don’t like; we call it excitement because we think something wanted is going to happen. The emotion says the thoughts we are thinking are false. That’s all. The labels are false. Feeling is calm, peaceful. There might be nice sensations in our body because feeling is sensual. When our emotions are quiet, we are more aware of our senses. It involves use of the senses in a pleasant way which we do when our thinking is true–again because we aren’t emotional.
Intuition as most people use it is navigation within the illusion. It is the insight to navigate through our beliefs. That’s not the goal of a freedom seeker. Inspiration is a hole in the illusion. It’s a moment where our true self is in charge. That occurs more and more as you let go. Hope that’s helpful. Cathy
I understand completely. Oversight. Thank you Cathy!
Hi Cathy. You said numerous times that a feeling means a belief and therefore any time you feel – it’s a lie (whatever brought you to that feeling). But now you’re saying to embrace your emotions… what is the difference between feelings and emotions?
The words I used are to embrace the wisdom of the emotions, not embrace your emotions. Big difference. The wisdom is the discrimination that they are telling you to let go. I’m saying don’t hate your emotions or run from them. Use them to get free.
Nice post. I was checking continuously this blog and I’m impressed! Very helpful information particularly the last part 🙂 I care for such info a lot. I was seeking this certain information for a very long time. Thank you and good luck.
I keep coming back to some of your articles because I still need manual control – I still forget and get lost in the matrix, but not for very long at a time anymore.
I do so love your work.
: ) Helle