Why People Snap: The Black Sheep Syndrome

Why People Snap?
Often it is the black sheep in a group that snaps after they have been the subject of prolonged aggressive or passive-aggressive behavior from others.

By Cathy Eck


Looking for Blame in all the Wrong Places

After a shooting or tragedy like Sandy Hook Elementary, Columbine, or Aurora, Colorado, people always look for something or someone to blame.  And they never look in the right place, the cause.  I watched an interview recently with a young woman who was shot in Columbine High School.  She said that it was no longer the memory of the incident that caused her pain.  What hurt her now was that nothing has changed.  She felt that her suffering was a wasted experience.  That  is the real tragedy; and it happens all the time because we don’t know how to fix our problems at the cause.

This is where the beauty of letting go is so wonderful.  It gets to the cause.  When I fully let go of a memory or belief, I know that what happened before could never happen again.  I feel complete and free; and I don’t even mind that it happened because I’ve learned my lesson and found my truth.  The once bad memory actually shows up more like a dream than a reality.

I find it odd that so many people say:  “Everything happens for a reason.”  But they don’t go looking for the reason.  They just assume God made bad things happen.  In my experience, God is never, ever the cause of bad things.  Human minds are.  The ancient masters said that mind is all; mind is always the cause.

But the world doesn’t let us know the causes of events on the evening news.  In any tragedy, if we could open the minds of all the players, we’d find the causes for each person’s level of involvement.  I can assure it.   But we don’t hear all the back stories.  We don’t know the past of those involved.  So we always blame the one who snaps.  Then we wonder why people snap?


Why People Snap?

As someone who has had moments of near snapping, I can tell you exactly why people snap.  There are some who snap inward toward themselves; they often take their own life or just become highly reclusive or mental patients. I chose the reclusive route for a long time.  Others snap outward and the people they harm are metaphors for those who locked them in their mental prison.  In my reclusive period, I’d imagine my redemption.  Revenge was not my thing, but it was only a thought away.  Hardly anyone noticed my near snapping because I was looking inward; we only ask why people snap when the snapping is directed outward toward others.

I was lucky, in those fragile moments when I was so lost, I somehow stepped in to the mind of the people I despised, and I could see that they didn’t know what they were doing because they were brainwashed by religion and social standards.  They really truly thought they were good, and I was bad.  They really believed they were superior and flawless.  They felt justified in their passive-aggressive behavior toward me.

But I didn’t see myself as a victim, which is why I found freedom.  I could see that they were simply players in my own mental drama; and I created them showing up in my life as a demonstration that I accepted their beliefs and mental patterns even though I didn’t find them appealing.  On some level, I believed what they were saying to me.  That was causing my pain and suffering.  Let me be very clear here because this is so important.

It was my belief in what they said to me; not what they said to me.  Once I was able to drop the belief that they were right, they lost all power over me.

That was the turning point.  I could see the whole picture, and I knew I could find the way out.  I wanted my power back from this thought drama.  I could see why people snap; I could see why I was on the verge of snapping myself.  It was no longer personal because it was simply the converging of patterns of thought between myself and my illusory opponents.  I realized that if I had not believed their beliefs, I could not be labeled bad by them.  So I learned to let go, and they all disappeared from my life.

The people who snap are often intelligent.  Thus, they recognize when people say things that aren’t true.  Their mind quickly sorts and discovers the exception to the rule proving the falsehood of the other.  When they express that exception, they often get in trouble.  Or they find themselves as the odd man out in a group of people who all think alike.  They feel imprisoned by the others’ thoughts that they know are untrue; but they cannot prove it because the others are certain of their rightness.  This starts a hatred within the one who snaps that grows and grows until they simply want revenge at any cost.

People snap when it seems to them that if they could just eliminate the seeming cause of the belief (the person who perpetuates the false thoughts) that keep them stuck in the bad role, they would be free.  But often they kill themselves after killing the people who hold the false beliefs because they notice that the beliefs are still in their own mind.

All of this could be avoided, if people simply knew how to discriminate between a belief and the truth; and they could let go of beliefs.  It could end today if people stopped seeing their beliefs as the truth and pushing them on others who are different.  Therapy won’t fix this problem; but letting go will.  The reason why people snap completely disappears when the good and evil belief system is let go in the snapper’s mind.  Those with false beliefs can no longer project on the snapper.

White Sheep and Black Sheep snap
White sheep also snap when their precious beliefs are exposed as untrue.


Adults Need to Listen to Children

I listened to my children on so many subjects where I had borrowed beliefs from others.  Children aren’t born with beliefs.  They speak the truth until we brainwash them with our beliefs.

I quickly noticed that the beliefs they challenged in me were stupid beliefs.  They had a right to challenge them, and I quickly gave in.  In fact, I acknowledged them for freeing my mind.  But other authority figures in their lives were not so willing to bend.  Four and five-year old children are often more wise than men and women we elect into office because they still have the ability to think outside the box and change their minds.

Why people snap is often answered by labeling the snapper anti-social.  What always surprises me is that we actually think our social norms are good when they are often the cause behind why people snap.  People wonder why kids would rather text than talk or why they play games for hours on end.  It is because they don’t want to talk to boring people who have nothing to offer but worthless beliefs.

I didn’t have a computer as a child so I studied my mind 24/7.  I could see how my mind held the thoughts of my parents, teachers, and other authorities in it, even when I knew they were wrong.  It provided information that paid big dividends later in life when I finally learned how to let go of beliefs.


The Innocent Victims

Sadly, these tragedies have seeming innocent victims because the person that the snapper really wants to kill isn’t available.  So they choose metaphorical victims that remind them of the  kids, teachers, parents, and authorities who bullied them in the past.  The victim’s mind, upon examination, would have to match the mindset of the one who installed the original wound in some crucial way.  So they would have avoided involvement if they didn’t fit the mold.  But hindsight doesn’t help much in these tragedies.  We’re usually blindsided by them.

Like I said earlier, we aren’t able to know the backstory of every person involved so we aren’t able to learn from their errors.  Often we hear miraculous stories of people who weren’t at the tragedy scene for some strange reason; they just weren’t a match to the mindset of the tragedy.  People don’t like when I say this.  We don’t like to be responsible for the crap that we create in our life.  But we must if we want to be free. Responsibility is our place of true power.  When you get this, it really gives you incentive to work on your mind and let go.  I know I’ve avoided many problems and tragedies in my life because I’ve let go of something before it got me or my children in trouble.


Death is Perceived as the Cure

Sadly the real reason why people shoot when they snap is that they believe their death or the death of others will change minds and end their suffering.  They confuse people with their beliefs, which is very normal in our society.  Most people think they are what they believe.  You’re a whole lot safer when you drop that belief.  Because your beliefs are what put you in danger.  They are much easier to let go once you realize that they are not part of your True Self.

The difference between one who shoots and one who doesn’t is one belief. The one who doesn’t shoot realizes that death won’t change anything.

If we could open the minds of the victims, we’d find fear of terrorists.  It clearly existed at Sandy Hook since they had constant drills to prepare for such attacks.  We don’t need drills if we have no fear.  We’d find passive-agressive battles going on that are suppressed or overlooked in the adults.  We’d find beliefs that don’t serve anyone.  Children are true victims because they accept the beliefs of their adult authorities without question; and they often pay the price for their parent’s belief systems.  We’ve all do that; it is part of the earth game.  But we change that pattern when we stop educating the kids with our beliefs and instead listen to them.

Nothing in life happens without cause; but often the cause is religiously or socially acceptable.  So we don’t relate the pain and suffering to the cause.  If we aren’t taught how to let go of beliefs, we suppress our beliefs and emotions giving them attraction power.

Until we learn the truth and fix the real cause, tragedy will continue to occur because we will continue to cause it with our beliefs.


Male and Female Roles

In any situation or group in the illusion, people play the male or authority role or the feminine or receptive role. Systems are designed that way in the world of beliefs and rules. When someone is in the feminine role, we presume they have no power. Our beliefs system presumes that the feminine has no way out. Of course they always do. But when you are in that situation, you often don’t see the way out. Or the way out looks too frightening.  The person who snaps always sees themselves in the feminine role; they feel they are the victim of a society that is crazy and won’t change.  Or they see themselves stuck in a chain of painful beliefs imposed by others that cause them to look like an outcast or bad — the black sheep.  The Unabomber is a perfect example of this.

In the illusory world, the true victim is always the person or people in the feminine role because the illusion considers the feminine to be receptive and without power.  Children are always in the feminine role.  Often the authority that is the true cause is not even involved in the situation.  They stand above the whole event looking completely innocent.

A perfect example is the war on terror since 9/11.  Many point the finger at George Bush, and he claims innocence.  It doesn’t appear that he actually caused 9/11 (although some have found proof that he may have had some involvement — I’ll leave that to the conspiracy guys).  But he believed in evil doers.  He believed the Christian ideas of the end times.  He had judgment of people of the Muslim religion. He had beliefs that set the stage for 9/11 to happen.  He was our authority, our leader, so we got what he believed and deserved based on his thinking.  His role kept him out of the situation because he believed he was protected.  I have found that what often looks like conspiracy is just pure projection of people in authority with very occult-like beliefs.

This describes a very complex mental state that could be described as the superego.  It is where an authority sees the good and the bad projected out in to the world fighting against each other, but they stand above it all like a false God.  This was how the ancient Lords and Kings got their power — it is a very old pattern of thinking. It is very common in gurus, literal clergy, political leaders, business leaders, and even parents and teachers.  The authority looks blameless when they are 100 percent the cause.


The Original Cause

Men created stories a long time ago that twisted our minds so that when something goes wrong, we automatically blame the feminine.  Blaming the feminine stops the natural process of searching for the true cause.  The most popular of feminine-blaming story is Adam and Eve.  But there are many more including fairy tales with wicked witches.  Stories programmed our minds to look to the feminine for cause. Thus nothing ever changes, nothing gets fixed; because the feminine is never the true cause because the feminine is receptive (like the moon), not assertive (like the sun), in the illusion.  Blaming the receptive feminine is like blaming the mirror for your zits.

If people were awake, we wouldn’t elect leaders with end times views of life.  We wouldn’t elect people with a good and evil or right and wrong point of view.  In fact, we’d only choose leaders like our founding fathers, who said that politicians should be non-religious so they don’t project their views on their people.  Ideally leaders would be free of beliefs.

The true leader looks at his people and when things aren’t right, they fix their own mind. Many years ago, my two youngest children went to a Waldorf school. Regular schools just didn’t cut it in my book, so we decided to give alternative a try. Most of the kids in the Waldorf school were the rejected ones from traditional education. They weren’t there because they were a match to the philosophy.

I read Rudolf Steiner’s books and felt Waldorf was a good choice. I agreed with much of his philosophy.  About halfway through the year, my daughter’s third grade class was in constant mayhem. The teacher called a meeting. She went around the room and asked the parents what they would do about this problem. Some parents said they would ground their kids, spank their kids, or take away privileges. One parent even volunteered to cancel their vacation to Disney World. The parents felt special if they gave a bigger punishment, I guess.

Eventually, they came around to me; and I said, “Not being rude, but according to Rudolf Steiner, if there is a problem in the classroom, the teacher needs to examine her shadow, her motives.” A man stood up and ran at my throat shouting “You are the reason the world is going to hell in a handbasket.” Another man and his wife tackled him, and I was untouched. The wife looked at her husband and said, “Shut up asshole; she’s right.” The teacher than looked at me and said, “I’m sorry. I should not have called this meeting.  This is my problem. Please don’t punish your children.”  She asked me to help her find the cause, and we did. She was a beautiful woman who found the cause quickly, understood that children only reflect our shadows, let her mental cause go, and the class returned to perfection.

I was truly shaken to the core right after that happened because this man represented the false authority that thinks they are good and know what is right, but they are absolutely clueless about life and especially about children. They destroy people’s, and especially children’s, spirits and never get punished. We even elect them into office and make them heros.  For me, this event was a great reason to remove my kids from school altogether because we learn beliefs, not truth, in school.  It was also a clear message that I still feared authority.

It was a long time before I noticed that I didn’t get hurt.  It was a long time before I noticed that everyone else in the room had to submit when I spoke the truth.  I was so terrified by what almost happened.  In fact, the man (much larger than I) could not hurt me because I spoke truthfully, and he didn’t.  I saw how the world was designed to work.  I had no reason to be afraid.  My True Self caused me to speak and kept me safe.  So Mr. Hell-in-a-handbasket did me a favor; he led me to my truth because I used him to find the cause.  My short-term suffering was not wasted.

Mr. Hell-in-a-handbasket clearly snapped when I spoke the truth.  He demonstrated another reason why people snap — the masculine reason.  And it is perhaps the more dangerous reason because there is no warning.  Many of us fear this kind of snapping because it reminds us of our parents.  The male reason why people snap is the cause of child or wife abuse.  A man’s erroneous point of view is exposed and challenged by the innocent wife or child who speaks truthfully; his beliefs are proven to be flawed or wrong.  But he won’t admit it because all his power was in those beliefs.  Truth is always more powerful than beliefs.  And the one with beliefs will fight to reclaim their false power.  But they eventually lose.  This is happening in the world today as religious and political institutions are fighting to keep us mentally imprisoned in their stupid belief systems.  Because when no one believes them, they will have no more power.


True and False Authority

My child’s teacher behaved like a true authority.  She went searching for the cause of the problem in her own classroom, and she found it.  She grew, the class benefited, and the dad who snapped may or may not have learned a lesson.  Peace returned to the room.  But we don’t have leaders that lead like this teacher as a rule.  Most of our leaders are poor excuses for authority.

The false authority with beliefs and rules looks at his people and sees his own shadow. He sees himself as good; and projects his opposite.  Often that shadow is projected on one person, known as the black sheep.  White sheep follow the herd and fit in; and they obey, so they are good.  They can also snap if they become completely fed up with obedience.  But they usually don’t since they get the attention and accolades.  They get the good label.

The person who snaps is always in a feminine role, and they believe that the others who project their belief on them have power over them. They cry for help again and again, but no one listens because the others see the leader as good. After all, he’s good to them.

This is so sad because when you step out of the illusion yourself, you can see when someone is ready to snap.  You can help them to let go.  You see the beauty in the black sheep, and you recognize that their point of view is usually the win-win perspective.  But you won’t see it if you are contributing to it.


Children are always Feminine

Children are feminine to every adult regardless of their sex. They have no authority. But often children are much wiser than the adults who teach them. They feel the constant pressure of having to think smaller and smaller to fit in the prescribed box. When they can’t do it anymore, they snap. I often felt such tension in school, and I would take my mind away from the class and draw. It was the only way I could breath. It was so clear to me that almost nothing the teachers said was true or necessary. They were just doing their job mindlessly, never questioning what they said.  Small snapping incidences today often lead to a diagnosis of ADD, ADHD, or Asperger’s Syndrome.

The emotion of the snapper starts out as sadness. The child does something amazing or unique or says something profound; and instead of being praised, they are punished for not coloring in the lines. If it happens again and again, the child might become reclusive. Often they become suicidal or very angry. And if the system continues to keep pushing this child, they show us why people snap, and they don’t care what prisoners they take with them.  I saw a documentary that said Hitler was such a child — he wanted to be an artist but was told he had no talent.  We not only missed out on his art, but we got the wrath of his snapping.


What’s the Solution?

I often get calls or emails from young people who read my blog, and say, “I can’t take it anymore. Would you please talk to my mother or father?” But then I have to explain that I can’t do that because their parents are simply listening to a false authority in their head, and I’m not going to change that. We can’t remove the brainwashing from everyone on earth so we can be comfortable. We have to find ourselves, and allow them to disappear or snap knowing that we are safe in our truth.  I help those that see beyond the brainwashing to reclaim their power.  When we don’t believe another’s beliefs, they have no power over us.  It is this realization that will bring peace back to earth.

I explain to these young people how they can reclaim their power by letting go of believing their parents. You can hear the relief in their voice. You see there is not one tool within the system (the illusion) that empowers the feminine. Most of the people labeled good in our society are the enforcers of the patriarchal system designed to reward the intellect — especially most doctors, teachers, clergy, therapists, and government enforcers. They do their jobs well because they have sold their souls to the system.

If we empower the black sheep, the ones who are different and unique, and the ones who have the guts to color outside the lines, the false status quo will eventually back down.  They will realize that they can’t win the battle and stop fighting.  Truth will prevail.  The illusion will lose the good and evil perspective and return to what it was in the first place, a creative palette.   And the white sheep will win too because they will be forced to let their beliefs go and to be themselves.

If we continue to be right about our false beliefs and hold on to the illusion so that we can be good and others evil, then we are the problem just as much as the one who pulls the trigger.  But if we do our part and let go of our beliefs and our judgments, we become the leaders of a new, wonderful snap-free world.
photo credit: foxypar4 via photopin cc


Cathy Eck is a true pioneer always pushing the boundaries of thought and beliefs. Cathy is courageous about exposing the status quo. While her ideas might not be popular, they are effective, practical, and true. They create unity where division once existed. They create love where hate had reigned. They create joy where pain and sorrow were once normal. They are ideas worth considering and hopefully embracing.

This Post Has 3 Comments

  1. Bill

    You articulated so well what I’ve always believed. I was beaten down by a dominate father who believed his calling in life was to make his children think like him. He never thought it possible that we had “good thinking” all along. I am a Christian…but not main stream. In fact, I attend no church because they add rules to receiving grace and mercy. I believe they are there for all…not just the “righteous”….which by the way there are none. When people see themselves as they are, which are flawed, they should extend the same courtesies as they want from others….that’s true forgiveness and it costs nothing.

  2. lawanda pettiway

    i read your article looking for answers and truth leading to my boyfriends death. my heart was beating uncontrollably while reading your article. my boyfriend died jan 7 2016. we do not know why yet but i believe he snapped. i could compare your whole article to events and words that was said by my boyfriend. can you please write me back so we can talk further

    ps looking for answers

    1. Cathy

      Hi Lawanda,
      I wrote to you directly so you can write to me privately. I can only say that all untimely deaths are projection. People kill the people they love and then cry at the funeral. Parents are the worst. I suspect that’s what you are feeling. Love Cathy

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