Winning the Masculine Role By Cheating
By Cathy Eck
Warning: This is a long one. I just didn’t want to break it up into pieces. So put on your pajamas and get your popcorn.
Roles and Power
I was just watching a program on television that exposed methods used by sales people to trick customers into buying from them. It was interesting to watch people on both sides of the transaction. In the past, when I watched these sorts of shows, a belief would usually kick in that said, “If it happened to them, it can happen to me.” In those moments, I’d feel the powerlessness of the feminine role. But now I know that there aren’t any random events that just happen. And if they do happen to us, we can use them to learn what we need to let go so they don’t ever happen again. The same things that enslave us can actually set us free. We just have to know the secrets of how the mind and the illusion works.
Victims are chosen people. They’re chosen by the false God within any predator; and every predator has a judgmental, cursing, punishing, get-even God within. We can only blame religion for bad or evil people. It created them. Without that despicable God that gets shoved into people’s minds, people would be good. If we’re afraid of that God, and we believe in him, then we’re afraid of any person in the masculine role that worships him. We might become that person’s chosen one. Or we might become his mini me!
We think God will punish people for their bad behavior, but why would he? They’re exactly like their God. They get rewarded for being like him — usually with money because the false God loves money. We have to see this, or we’ll think we’re betraying God and feel guilty when we let go. It’s one of those strange psychological reversals. People with the God psychological reversal can con others without feeling emotion because they have been mentally rewired so they feel good, calm, and composed when they are obeying their God. Judgment doesn’t feel bad to them; it feels like they are serving God. They feel emotional, even pain, when they come near a True Self because their fear of exposure arises. That can work in our favor if we don’t fear them.
Conspiracy theorists say these people are aliens, but they aren’t aliens. They are just like us with a much stronger psychological reversal. In our society, the more psychologically reversed someone is, the more we look up to them and reward them. This is why no one wants to be their True Self; the rewards for being a false self seem so much bigger. And what makes it even more attractive is that society thinks we are good when we are completely psychologically reversed. To be highly functional in the illusion, we believe we need this psychological reversal. We work hard to master it.
That television show explained how these con artists worked their magic. It said that they take advantage of the fact that most people don’t have their level of knowledge. That’s how all magic works. They suggested that we must become knowledgeable consumers before we buy anything. Most people think that’s the answer, and today people are insanely researching the internet on every subject. That becomes a new full-time job — more hard work. Is that really what we want? I don’t think so. I say that we just want to walk freely in the world and live our life. We want to show up at the right places at the right time without having to rely on our alliance with Yelp. We want to maintain our power no matter where we are and what we’re doing. That’s freedom.
Stop Being Nice
Do you know why people con others? Because they can. We’ve been trained to be nice and to submit. We’ve become mentally and verbally constipated; and we act like nothing is happening when a lot is happening. We think if we turn on the charm, the con artist will be nice to us. Some play the roll over and die game where they submit completely hoping that the predator will go easy on them. It doesn’t work that way. Nice and submissive put us in the feminine role. In the illusion, the submissive feminine won’t ever change the masculine role’s mind. That was made clear in the illusion’s handbook, the Old Testament of the Bible. “Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord,” Ephesians 5:22, King James Version. Wives in the Bible are metaphorically referring to the feminine role. Men and the Lord are references to the masculine role. Thus when we obey this Bible passage, we put the story’s Lord (Genesis II false God) above us. We’re not following the Creator anymore; we’re no longer in Kansas Dorothy.
Nice people are filled with repressed beliefs and fear. Predators smell and feel their fear. They know who they can defeat. The nice person then expresses their anger later on with their friends or family, where they feel safe. They want people to stand up for them and validate their victimhood. We enable them when we support their belief that they were victimized. Freedom means that we always stand up for our own True Self. Instead of getting support for our false self, we realize that we’ve just been tested; and we failed to let go. So what, if we are still breathing, we can let go now.
So first, we need to let go of the belief in us that we can get conned or that people can’t be trusted. We need to let go of the fear that we can’t expose the con artist, and we need to annihilate that inner nice guy or gal. There’s a reason that nice has become the new good; it works for the people who win in the illusion. But we also don’t have to become mean assholes. Let me show you how to maintain your composure with a con artist by letting go.
Getting the Masculine Role The Honest Way
Suzy walks into auto repair shop, and she has a bad feeling. Her emotion is telling her to look inside herself, and she does. A belief from the past has been triggered. She practices letting go, and she remembers that she saw a news report on auto services charging for things that weren’t broken. She catches her thought, “This could happen to me.” That thought was generating her emotion, and she is on her game. So she lets that thought go. She knows the belief isn’t true because she realized it was associated with the emotion she felt.
Bill walks up to the counter. He talks with a thick New York accent, and fear arises in Suzy. She remembers hearing from a friend that you can’t trust Italian men from New York, especially if they work on cars. Okay, she let’s that go. Her friend is prone to exaggerate and stereotype anyway.
She explains what she wants done, and he acknowledges her. She again fears that he’ll do more than she asked for and charge her for those services. “He isn’t very social,” she thinks. She let’s that go, but feels that this man is a real concern. What arises in Suzy’s mind is that if he does more than she asked for, she’ll be stuck. She realizes that she’ll just pay the bill. She’s done this before. She starts to say something to him in order to clarify her desires. She wants to make sure that no one would ever say that Suzy wasn’t nice or crystal clear. Then she realizes that this is an old fear, and it’s time that she lets it go. She hands over her keys to Bill and goes to the waiting room.
This is where I’d tell Suzy to sit and imagine the worst case scenario in her mind. Positive thinkers would never tell you to do this. But the truth is that the worst case is already sitting dormant in her mind. If Suzy denies what is really concerning her, she’ll make it stronger. She might even manifest it and feel blindsided. Suzy imagines that he charges her $1000 for something that was completely unnecessary. Now her fear of having to expose him arises, and the emotion is overwhelming. She doesn’t want to have to do that. She feels her mind wanting to affirm that she is powerful or pray that God will save her from this evil man. This is all in her mind. It’s a projected scenario based on her beliefs; and fortunately, Suzy recognizes that. She can see that she’s addicted to her label of nice. She doesn’t want to lose it or taint it with an outburst. She feels she’ll go to hell if she’s not nice. She doesn’t want to be pushy or controlling. She fears getting a bad credit ding if she doesn’t pay him. She even fears embarrassing him when he was the one that did something bad. “Good people never put others in an embarrassing situation,” she tells herself. Then she let’s that belief go; it feels horrible.
In my experience, this is often where the nice person’s mind goes. They couldn’t tell their parents they were wrong. They couldn’t expose their teachers or preachers when they were children. Their spouse expects them to stick up for their ridiculous beliefs out of loyalty. They’re terrified of exposing the false self in others. If they expose their own false self first, they’ll see the false self in others quite clearly. And their false self thinks that’s bad too. You’re supposed to see everyone as good says the false mind It’s a bad case of level confusion.
Yes, the True Self does see everyone as good, but if we’re in the illusion we want to see the roles that people are playing. We want to see what they believe. We want to feel their intention. We know it isn’t who they are, but it’s who they’re being in that moment. Otherwise, we become their prey. The false self keeps us trapped in nice so we can be seen as good. But we wonder why we seem to attract bad people into our lives like flies. That’s how the illusion works. When we become good or nice by someone else’s definition, we hold both sides of the bottom of the triangle in mind. We attract our opposite We look like their victim, but we’re not. We’ve just found our soul mate. We’re actually a victim of our false God’s illusion. But it’s a rare person that goes back to the priest and says, “Look what you did to me.” Never happens. We think they’re good. We blame our soul mate who plays the predator role. This is a trick of the illusion. It always blames the wrong people. It never sees the cause.
Suzy keeps watching her thoughts. She doesn’t want to be seen as a bitch. She doesn’t want to show emotions to this predator. These are the thoughts that she’ll have to let go. Bill could see that Suzy would make a good victim by the meek way that Suzy approached the counter and her inability to hold eye contact. He saw it in the way she fearfully clutched her bag as if her money and her life were intricately connected. He could see that she was trying to trust them, but didn’t. She gave him the choice to con her; and he may have been thinking about doing so. His mind says, “I need to teach this nice girl a lesson.” You see, he doesn’t see himself as bad. In his mind, he’s doing her a favor — educating her. He’s actually right. If we see with clear sight, we realize that these seeming enemies expose our beliefs for us to see and let go. They are doing us a favor if we want freedom.
So Suzy does her homework while Bill works on her car. She let’s go of her fears and gets to the real issue. She realizes that she doesn’t trust people. She lets that go. Now if the guy hands her a big bill, she’s ready to stand up for herself. Her inner energy shifts. In her hour or so of letting go, she has actually stood up for her True Self within her mind. She has allowed her power back in. And Bill feels the shift. He completes the job and says to her, “That will be $26 ma’am. I just charged you for the oil change. The wiper fluid is on me. Sorry it took so long. I had a tire I had to change for my wife. Happy wife, happy life…you know. Hope you’ll come back and see me again.” Was she wrong or did she change her fate? She’ll never really know for sure. And it doesn’t matter. The truth is that this guy gave her a real gift. She will no longer fear or cower around people like him anymore. She’s removed a piece of the false God within her mind.
And if she’s really honest, part of her grieves the loss of drama. She won’t have a story for the girls days out luncheon. When her husband asks, “How was your day?” She’ll have to say perfect. Now she has to work on her new issue. What will I talk about when I have nothing to complain about? She’ll figure it out.
It’s All About Roles
In any given moment, when interacting with another person, we’re in a masculine or feminine role. It’s inevitable — the illusion sits on a foundation of roles. I’ve talked a lot about roles for situations like school or family where natural or obvious roles set the tone of the environment. If you need a refresher, click here. There are many articles about roles on nolabelsnolies.com.
In most common situations, it’s completely obvious who’s in power. The role speaks loud and clear. In the sales situation above, the sales person assumes the masculine role since he’s asserting. The customer would play the feminine role as receiver. But there was an attempt to switch the roles when the illusion declared a rule change a decade or so ago, “The customer is always right” shifted things if the person in the masculine role agreed to the new rule change. And that was a huge shift. But then some customers showed their masculine asshole to the world. They took advantage of their power and started to screw the vendors. In the illusion, the pendulum swings back and forth. Roles change, but the construct doesn’t.
The situations that really confuse us are the situations where it’s unclear who’s in power. The problem occurs when we can’t tell a false self playing a masculine role from a True Self. We don’t discriminate if we feel sure that someone is good and has our best interest at heart. There are a lot of good clone selves out there. We won’t know the difference unless our minds are clear because we have to be able to listen to our own thoughts and feel our emotions as they speak. When they speak from a place of incongruence, we’ll feel it if our minds are clear. If our minds are filled with our beliefs, we won’t be able to discriminate between their false words and intentions and our own false mumbo-jumbo.
In the remainder of this post, I’ll address some more of these sneaky ways that you might be tricked into falling into a feminine role without knowing it. When you can see that you’re in the feminine role with a false masculine in power, you can more easily choose to walk away. Or you can expose the game. An exposed game has no power as long as we don’t fear the person we are exposing. False power depends on secrecy.
In the illusion, getting that coveted false masculine role is everything. We can’t heal ourselves in the feminine role within the illusion. We can’t improve our status in the feminine role within the illusion. We can’t live a free life unless we’re in the masculine role. That’s because our True Self has no power within the illusion. We have to follow the rules of the leader; and their rules are generally designed to serve them, not us.
Subtle Role Manipulation
Some people are quite talented at making sure they always assume the masculine role. Questioning or interrogation is frequently used by authority figures, like police officers. If we’re weak, we can end up being falsely accused. We’ll even declare ourselves guilty when we aren’t. Intimidation is evident in gangs where people slam others into place. These are extreme examples, but we see less extreme examples nearly every day in all of our lives.
My husband would often ask me the question, “Why did you do that?” Here’s the correct answer to that question. “I just had an idea that this would be the right thing for me to do. The idea was calm and felt completely peaceful. I knew it was right and knew it would not harm anyone else. So I did it.” But I didn’t have that brilliant answer at the right moment. And he would have given me a WTF look anyway if I had spoken so clearly? Instead I tried to answer his question, and his question was designed to have no acceptable answer except for an admission that I was wrong or bad. It was designed to put me in the feminine role. But I didn’t see his intention because I held so many of his beliefs in my mind. My mind was too clouded to discriminate. So I thought I should answer the question. I’m sure he learned this trick growing up. People do to others what was done to them. He thought he was getting me to think about what I did so that in the future I would make correct, moral choices like him. Fortunately, I was a slow learner.
You see, what he probably wanted to know was why he felt emotion in that moment. I wasn’t doing something he thought I should based on his rulebook. I was exposing his belief as untrue. I felt just fine doing what I did. I didn’t hurt anyone. But I challenged his rules for life. The question he asked was designed to bring him emotional relief. And when I tried to answer it, I accepted the emotional burden he projected on me. I made his problem, my problem. Ah, the oldest false self trick was in play, but I couldn’t see it. The false self always thinks that others are doing to it what it’s actually doing to the others. He was telling me that I was doing something harmful to him when in truth he was actually doing something harmful to me. He was questioning my True Self. This blindsides us and keeps us in a state of confusion.
My husband and I lived in two different planes of reality. The illusion is a physically oriented reality; he was a master of his reality. Our True Self is on a mental reality — that was the only place I was comfortable or ever wanted to be. When we get the mental right, the physical will be right automatically if we don’t have beliefs that twist it all into a mess. We’ll always create from true good and win-win. This is why we purify our minds to become good and to get free. But in the physically oriented world of the false self, you follow rules and morals. You obey your inner false God. When I didn’t obey his false God, he was mad. So he said, I was doing something wrong. But I wasn’t because my thinking that caused the doing was true; he was the one with the false thought. True Self thinking will never, ever satisfy a false self or answer their questions. You have to think something the True Self would never think in order to do what they are doing. If you aren’t able to please your parents or explain to them why you have made the choices you made, and your choices feel good to you. This is probably your problem.
The best thing that I could have done in hindsight was respond, “Why do you ask?” That is the answer to any interrogator’s questioning. You turn the question back on them. You’re refusing to take their projection.
The rules that govern a situation in the illusion are dependent on who’s in the masculine role. If you don’t like someone’s rules, don’t stay in their world. But what if you want them in your life? What if you can’t get rid of them, like the leader of your country? Then you have only one choice. You must let go of whatever is keeping you in the feminine role until you naturally move to the true masculine role with that relationship. You must see their authority as false because it is. All authority is false. You must let go of the beliefs that you share with them. Then they have no false connection to you; they won’t affect you at all. This can be done with anyone if you want to do it. It takes some work. But the reward is your freedom.
The intimidator is similar. They don’t ask a question; they make a statement or impose an action upon us. In that case, we have to get to the true masculine role, like Suzy did above. Then the intimidator recognizes they have no power in this situation; they don’t try to con or harm us. Today’s government is filled with intimidation and interrogation. They are pushing us to let go and rise above them. If we stop being afraid of them and let go, we can do that and change will happen.
The Silent Treatment
Sometimes a person moves into a masculine role without saying a word. Have you ever had someone use the silent treatment on you? They’re trying to take the masculine role. Ignore them. They’re silently thinking crap about you and hoping you’ll hear it in your mind, feel emotions, think it’s true, and believe it. Keep letting go. They hope that you’ll apologize or submit to them. Fuck them. We have to stop allowing people to win with these manipulative techniques. That’s how we heal the world and eliminate the illusion so everyone can be free.
When they go silent, you could say, “Trying the old silent trick huh.” If you are in a particularly perky mood, you can add. “I’m enjoying the quiet.” Now, I don’t usually say anything; and I do enjoy the quiet.
Exposure is like the miracle cure for everything. My husband used to have seven tricks. They were all done to him, and he was a good student. As I became wise to his false self, I gave them numbers and would shout out the number when he did it just for the fun of it. “Number four is now running your mind. Have fun sleeping by yourself.” Now he had the emotions that corresponded to his thinking; exposure does that. It puts the emotions back in the person’s mind who holds the causal beliefs. And while he was emoting, I was off creating or researching why people did such stupid shit.
Many people use body language for power and control. For example, there’s a weird body language trick that’s often seen among politicians and businessmen. The most masculine person is defined by whoever is the last to go through a door. If a man holds a door open for another man, he looks polite. But he’s really saying, “You’re a woman.” He’s defining the roles. Sometimes political-minded people almost battle to be the last one through the door. And as women grow in power, they feel angry when men hold open the door for them. They start to feel the real intention that was cast in stone a long time ago by occult groups of men. They realize that their knight in shining armor is blind, not caring.
Another body language method of domination is having the hand on top in a handshake. Sometime a person shakes with the right hand and touches the person’s upper arm with their left hand. This is a subtle message that says, “I am the man. Thank you for submitting to me. My rules will now dominate our interaction.” And because we fall for the trick, it works. The message is sent even if no words are spoken. Watch handshakes between heads of nations. The Americans are experts at taking control. Most of them are members of secret societies where they learn these things.
But women do fight back; there are sexual moves that women make that slam men into the feminine role. They use the man’s own false self against them. Let me be clear. The woman is still in the feminine role. If she uses these moves, it’s because she’s playing with a false masculine. Men like to pretend they were tempted or tricked by women when she was just the projection of their own manipulative false self. She could not do such manipulative things to a true masculine.
This goes all the way back into the part of the Old Testament that was removed — the story of Lilith. Lilith was Adam’s first wife. She was considered evil because she refused to submit to Adam. Many believe that she’s the reason that the missionary position is considered correct by Fundamentalists. Eve was the good wife; she submitted and honored her curse. It’s all just story — really. Nothing is true. But all beliefs do come from somewhere. And the Adam and Eve story is not a story of men and women. It’s a story of roles. Everyone has an Lilith/Eve in the form of his or her own emotional discrimination and his or her own creativity. When s/he stops blaming emotional Eve, life improves dramatically because creative Lilith comes back to life.
When people don’t understand roles, they fall for the tricks. They fall for the tricks because they were groomed by the stories to not see the tricks. It’s all part of the illusory game. It’s really clever in a sick sort of way.
Debt and Obligation
Sometimes we fall for the wolves in sheep’s clothing because we can’t tell the true-masculine gift from the false-masculine debt unless we feel and observe what is really going on. You see, if someone is in the false masculine role, what appears to be a gift is usually a loan that will need to be repaid on demand. They give you what they think you need, not what you really want. You can learn a lot by looking at the gifts that people give. Often they’re expecting something in return at a future time. Or they are using the gift to disguise a projection that they don’t want. Let me explain the difference. We often label this difference, GUILT.” We feel it and think there’s something wrong with us. We feel guilty for not wanting to repay the debt or take the projection.
My ex-husband and I were friends with a couple who had a beautiful house that was purchased for them by one of their parents. We lived in a tiny condo at the time. I loved that condo and couldn’t have been happier in a mansion. After visiting them one night, my husband was livid. He said, “I don’t get it. It’s just not fair. I wish my dad gave me something like a business or home. We’re still paying off our fucking college education.” I’d always had a different point of view about money. I remember responding to him so clearly, “I don’t get your point at all. It’s so much fun to figure out how to make money and to create our own businesses. I love being independent. I don’t want anything that I have not earned.” I was a little surprised at my own words, especially when I used the word earned; and over time I understood what we both meant. I’ll explain in a moment. He never brought up the subject again.
In hindsight, I don’t think my husband really was bothered by the fact that they were given a house. I think he was bothered by the fact that their parents didn’t expect something in return for the house. It was really apparent with this couple — the gift was really a gift.
We used to visit my husband’s family often. Just before we left, his mother would always give us unwanted gifts. They weren’t expensive gifts; they were things like toiletries, cookies, even paper towels that were on sale at Wal-Mart. But I could feel that the gift was wrapped in guilt. I didn’t want the gift. I didn’t know why at the time. Strange excuses would come out of mouth as to why we just could not accept her gifts. I was unconsciously trying to deflect the intangible part of the gift. In the end, all of his mother’s messages could be boiled down to one simple statement. She wanted others to be responsible for her emotions and her loneliness, two effects of believing in the illusory, physically oriented perspective.
I’d spend the whole eight-hour drive home trying to convince my husband to let go of the guilt that he felt because he couldn’t visit his mother more frequently. The gifts reinforced the guilt. He felt that he had a debt to repay until we eventually went to visit again. He didn’t see the pretty guilt wrapping on the gifts. He saw a nice gesture because that was how he was trained to see it. I saw the guilt wrapping, but wondered if I had evil eyes for seeing it. I was hearing my husband’s beliefs in my mind probably because he was in my mind trying to figure me out. That was his hobby. He felt that I should not see his mother’s manipulative intention, and I should view his parents as good. It’s one of the Ten Commandments, “Honor your father and mother even if they are full of shit and manipulating the crap out of you.”
If I was in the masculine role, we would have said a polite “No thank you” and allowed his mother to deal with her own emotions. She would have had to be honest and admit her loneliness instead of trick us into visiting. I don’t enable people. Now I would teach her how to let go and release her loneliness if she asked me to.
But let’s talk about this earning thing a little more. Somehow, I knew that I didn’t mean earning in the way that most people do when I told my husband that I wanted to earn what I got in life. I didn’t mean that I wanted to work eight hours a day and get a check. That’s the physical orientation. I wanted to get what really truly belonged to me. I didn’t want something from beliefs or what belonged to someone else; I wanted to reap the rewards of my pure mind without manipulating or harming others. I felt certain that my creative capacity would explode if I just got out of the way.
The Creator God was mentally focused; and s/he created all kinds of shit in a few days. It was the false God that made earning about doing. It was the false God that cursed us with hard work. The false God has a physically-oriented perspective. It was the false God that stepped into our mind in the masculine role; and he didn’t even exist, except in the mind of Moses. Moses was perhaps the greatest con artist who ever lived. And for that I give him a standing ovation.
Let’s examine the new sort of preacher today that says, “You can have abundance. God loves you.” They’re saying things that are true, but they don’t tell you to let go of the false. They’re personally achieving abundance because they’re in the masculine role. That’s why when you watch the televangelists, people are jumping all over the place and screaming with emotion. They are receiving the lack of abundance projection from the minister. They are getting a debt and thinking they are getting a gift. And they go back week after week to be inspired to more lack. The preacher appears to be offering abundance — often for a mere ten percent of their earnings. But they aren’t. They’re offering a ticket to hell for ten percent of their earnings. Even if they believe them, and they get into a masculine role themselves as some do, and get that ROI of 110 percent that they were promised, they will just be more enslaved in the belief system of the preacher’s illusory God. It’s still someone else’s God they are pleasing. We can’t get to freedom by following someone else’s false God. “You can’t worship two masters,” said the great initiates.
These religions are the fastest growing in the world. They feed off of people’s insecurities and greed. If we let go of our insecurity and greed, we can sit back and enjoy the movie. It’s a comedy. I watch “Preachers of LA” every week; and I’m not laughing with them. I’m laughing at them. When we laugh at false, it loses power. It’s a fun way of letting go.
You’re Killing Me
My husband had many ways to trick me; and many of them worked. He’s not unusual. He would say, “You’re killing me or hurting me?” In his world, the truth hurts. In mine, it sets you free. Remember, we lived in two different perspectives. I didn’t understand his point of view. He didn’t get mine. How could I be hurting him? Often I wasn’t even thinking about him. My dad taught me to never impose my beliefs on others. And I didn’t. As you can see, I took my dad’s advice very seriously. But in this moment, my husband wanted me to believe his beliefs. He was imposing his beliefs on me, and I wouldn’t take them. He was mad because if someone won’t honor your beliefs, you don’t have power over them. I wasn’t killing him; I was not giving his false self power. And the false self feels like it is dying if it doesn’t get its fuel.
Clearly my husband’s mind was thinking thoughts that were false, and they were killing him. But he thought those thoughts were true. So he would not let them go. Remember, the false self thinks that emotion means that the thought is true. “Your hurting me or killing me,” became more and more frequent as I let go more and more. I wasn’t killing him or hurting him. And eventually I came to know that consciously. My inner Eve was free from her curse. I was not to blame for his false masculine mind; and I just knew it. I was no longer willing to play the role of his mirror if he was going to break it. And I truly didn’t want to play the masculine role in my marriage. I was born a woman; and I loved being a woman. I still do.
The Illusion Is the Most Common Cause of Death
Then there was my friend. She was Cuban where family is everything. She thought she had a happy family; after all, everyone was speaking to each other. Her mother always gave her money, and she came to enjoy and even rely on that money. When any decision needed to be made in my friend’s life, her mother expected to be included in that decision. There was a debt that came with that monetary gift — an unspoken debt that she would honor her mother’s beliefs and never stray. After being friends with me for a while, she started to want the independence that I had. She liked the way I thought. She started to realize that she didn’t really want that money anymore. She wanted to eliminate her codependence with her mother. When she tried to tell her mom that she didn’t need the money anymore, the mother started showing up at her door every day with food. Now she could see that her mother wasn’t giving her unconditional gifts. She was giving her a debt to be repaid. She told her mother that she didn’t want the food, and the mother slowed down a little bit. But now presented her with other tangible items. I tried to explain to my friend that the physical was a metaphor for the mental. She was being given things by her mother that she did not want physically and mentally in the form of beliefs. She wasn’t going to stop her mother physically. She needed to let go of her mother’s beliefs. But that was hard for someone of her culture.
Besides, my friend was always trying to fix things in the physical; she would not let go. She was a physical therapist, and her mantra was “If it exists in the physical, it must be fixed in the physical.” It sounded ridiculous to me, still does; but she said she really believed it, and it kept the income flowing.
Turning away the gifts just masked the problem. Guilt was growing inside her for not accepting what her mother gave her both physically and mentally; and it eventually became an incurable disease. It was so strange. It was as if I could see it coming. But I was viewing her life from the mental perspective; she was stuck in the physical perspective. I didn’t have the understanding I do now. I was just in the early stages of discovery of how to let go from the feminine role. I know now the outcome of this situation would be very different. I could have helped her get free and heal herself.
She looked at me one day in a moment of clarity and said, “These are my mothers issues in my body. She’s killing me with her seeming goodness. My mind says I can’t give this illness back. It is how I repay my debt to her. What if it’s too late?” Now she finally understood. But by this time, it was a cluster fuck extraordinaire. All of the beliefs that her mother had planted and supported in her mind were arising at one time, and she was overwhelmed with emotion. Her religion started to arise, and she became convinced that she was sacrificing herself so her mother could live and be free. Her mind told her a good daughter would do that. This is why the illusion is so sticky. My friend had given up her Catholic religion a long time ago — at least twenty years earlier. But she had covered it with lily-white New Age beliefs. Those New Age beliefs didn’t do shit for her now. The false God was in her mind full-time telling her what to do. He was on her mother’s side because he was the God her mother worshipped. She believed the voice because it didn’t feel good — her psychological reversal was not going to let her escape alive. When things go wrong, our beliefs do arise; and if we aren’t practiced in letting go, we won’t make it through those testing times. Our emotions are so strong; and we will be certain that the emotions are confirming that the beliefs are true.
The reason these subtle actions, like body language and gifts, are so important is they make a silent impression in our mind that we have no power or authority. But we can escape. We can let go of our beliefs (from the feminine role). We can beat them at their own stupid game. When we no longer hold the beliefs that the people in the masculine role are using to enslave or trap us, they have no power. The illusion’s power is exclusively based on beliefs. They cannot control a free person.
It’s the message of “The Shawshank Redemption.” Once Andy became that free bird that Red saw in him, no one could keep him in his cage. To a free person, the mental creates the physical experience. The physical is just the effect. Andy’s free mind created his free life. I disagree with Red though, I say, “All (not some) birds are meant to be free.”
My friend died thinking that if she didn’t take her mother’s emotions and sacrifice herself, she was bad; and God wouldn’t love her. Her mom got her way; she called in the priest to give her last rights. The illusion feeds off of sacrifice. In ancient times, they scarified animals, virgins, and children — people who had the most True Self. The false God sees the True Self as an enemy. If you sacrifice a True Self, by covering it with a nice false persona, you get rewarded.
My friend was showing me yet another disgusting part of this illusion. Parents who believe in the illusion sacrifice their own children. They project illness on them. They send them off to war. They cover their True Self with beliefs and reward status quo behavior. That isn’t love. They can’t help it, but it isn’t right. As Jesus said in the crucifixion, “They know not what they do.” People stuck in the illusion don’t deserve to have power over anyone. They don’t deserve to teach anyone. They don’t deserve our respect. They sure as hell don’t deserve our money. They need help. They need to be led. But we make them our leaders.
As you realize this, you do feel guilt. Why did I fall for this? Oh my God, I’ve projected on others — my own kids. Stop. Don’t go there. This information was lost. No one could find it. If they did find it, they screwed it up and made it part of the illusion. We did what they we were told to do until we learned that we don’t have to to that anymore. We can make our life right at anytime. That is the purpose of life that everyone is seeking — to recognize that what we were given was wrong; and to not pass it on to the next generation.
You see when you let go of the illusion, everything that happened becomes like a dream. Why feel guilt for something that didn’t even happen? Why hate another who just played a role? Why be serious over something that wasn’t even real? That’s how we get free. It is one of the last traps. The trap of feeling guilty or ashamed of falling is yet another trick of the illusion. Don’t allow it to suck you in.
In a perfect world, we live from our own masculine and our own feminine within. Our masculine has a thought; and our feminine discriminates by giving us calmness if it is true or emotion if the thought is false. We follow the peaceful inspiration. Our inner wholeness creates our outer life.
When the false masculine dominates us, it’s showing us what we still believe about the false masculine role. False masculine people who are power hungry look for ways to get their unwanted thoughts in other people’s minds by teaching, healing, governing, or preaching. They want to look good while they do their dirty deed. We have to learn to see and expose the false in them so we no longer accept the beliefs they try to plant in us or our children.
The false illusion relies on the power of numbers. It feeds off of repetition. It causes us to repeat words, prayers, or ceremonies over and over. It causes people to wear the same outfit or join the same club. It causes us to do the same thing over and over. Or it causes lots of people to do the same thing together. Numbers…it is all numbers. Repetition…memorizing…repeating. It’s what we are taught to do in school. We come to crave it in the illusion. We call it learning. But it isn’t learning. It’s dying. What causes death? That popular guidebook to the illusion tells us the answer. Death is caused by eating from the Tree of Knowledge of Good and Evil. And all half-truths are knowledge. After we bite the apple, our view of life changes. Everything become about physical doing; we move from the mental orientation or to the physical perspective. Life, in turn, becomes very hard. The Tree of Knowledge of Good and Evil a just like any good parasite; it kills it’s own host eventually. Our True Self gives life to our body; the false self steels from it until it kills it.
When we let go completely from the feminine role, and we do not judge the person who was in the false masculine role, we move into the true masculine role ourselves. We’ve returned to Eden. We have all the power over any false relationship. If it can return to a true relationship, it will return to a calm and clear connection. If the other person just wanted possession or control, they’ll go away. Either way, we both win. Don’t underestimate that power.
When even a few of us do this all the time, the world is going to change. When we expose the illusion, laugh at it, and don’t buy it’s products or services, the world is going to change. When we turn on the news and laugh as the President talks about terrorists that don’t exist or accidents that can’t happen if we don’t believe in them, the world is going to change. When we value the creative arts and inventors over the intellectual thinkers and teachers, the world is going to change. When we no longer believe that the drugs of the medical community can help us, the world is going to change. When we don’t rely on manipulating others for our abundance, the world is going to change. We’re riding on that edge right now in every aspect of our life. We can be the ones to tip things back toward the truth.
Andy Dufresne had to go to prison to be a criminal. He chipped away at his wall for twenty long years, but he didn’t stop until he was free. Now he spends his days on the Pacific Ocean, the place that has no memory. He’s a free man.