By Cathy Eck and a Very Wise Teenager
We’ve all felt like a lone tree at times. Often when we do, the fact that we’re not part of the forest causes us to think that something is wrong. We can’t see that standing on the outside of the illusion looking in allows us to be whole and free. We can’t see that we don’t need the illusion to get what we want. And most people have no clue that “outside the illusion” even exists. They’re drowning within it and don’t see an exit. So they accept the illusion as all that is. But that doesn’t make them right. That would be like believing the perception of our pet fish in its glass bowl when we’re standing in a much bigger world. But tell that to the fish — just try and change his point of view. We can see our fish and perceive of its world view, but it can’t imagine how big our world view is. The same is true for those in the illusion. You can’t expect them to understand the expansiveness of your mind and your ideas. You must understand that they’re the fish in the bowl that has no memory of the big lake in which they were born.
It makes no sense to me or to you that someone who is truly wise and sees through the illusion would be labeled wrong or a failure. It seems appalling that someone who can see a phony as a phony or a wolf in sheep’s clothing as a con artist would be considered a heretic or traitor. It makes no sense that someone’s creativity would be stomped on so that they could excel at memorizing worthless information. It makes no sense that we’re told to ignore or suppress our God-given emotions. It makes no sense that we’d value someone who can kill another person in a war or a lying politician over someone who can think a thought that has never been thought or create something original. And I’m so glad that those thing don’t make sense. When everyone is off doing their thing or I’m lying in bed alone, I’m left with my mind. As I let go and expand my world, I love my mind more and more. There is no way I’d let anyone ever tamper with it again.
I’ve learned one very important thing during my mental journey to hell and back. The desires of our heart hardly ever make sense to the rest of the world. In the past, most successful people have tirelessly willed their ideas into form. That takes all the fun out of creating. I hope people can come to see that we can let go of the beliefs that authorities have shoved down our throat. We don’t have to listen to them. We don’t even have to obey them once we no longer believe them. It’s true. You become invisible to those in the illusion, and that’s a very good thing. We are born creators, and we won’t be happy until we are authentic and free.
Screams of Our Hearts
With that intro, I want to share with you a very insightful email that I received recently from a teenager who does see through the illusion. I won’t share her personal information to protect her identity. I know she speaks for many of us. I was once just like this teenager; and while people continued to shove those very important dates and rules down my throat, they never noticed the screams of my heart. I got in trouble for not answering questions from memory because knowledge wasn’t up for discussion. Knowledge was treated as if it were the truth. The teacher didn’t know the difference, but try telling that to my emotional system. I got in trouble for doodling when it was the only thing that kept me awake in my daycare prison with a teacher that was about as interesting as cardboard. I was told I had to go to school when I could not see any benefit from it. Until I got to college, not one teacher had ever worked in the real world. They offered zero value. If they had just given me a stack of books in first grade, I could have completed all twelve years in a fraction of the time I spent in school, which is basically what I did with my children.
I wanted to feature this letter so that people can hear this from the source — someone who is living this now. Even if your teens play by the rules, and get the grades, I wouldn’t be surprised if they have a little of this inside them. In fact, I hope they do. I hope that parents will read this in the proper light, and recognize that teaching our kids what to think isn’t okay. Deciding our children’s life for them is killing their True Selves and destroying their creativity. When we give our children beliefs, we force them to live in a box for the rest of their life. That isn’t love. It’s control and possession. We’re trying to get them to sooth our emotions instead of letting go of the beliefs that cause the emotions. Teaching children things that don’t interest them or don’t bring them joy isn’t okay. It never was. Our True Self finds joy in learning that which we need. It holds the big picture of our life.
It took me a few more decades than this young woman to get the courage to express my feelings on such things. Like her, I was told that I was the problem; and in time, I became a full-fledged miserable member of the illusion. I often would love a do over. But since I can’t do that, I’m forced to let go of all the stupid beliefs the illusion has given us about aging and death. I’ve still got so much creativity in me. I know I’ll never run out of ideas. Like this young woman, I want to make sure that I don’t run out of time.
Reading, Riting, and Rithmetic make sense, but Rules, Remembering, and Regurgitation Don’t!
I know many will benefit from reading this insightful email. I was so happy that she gave me permission to share it with you. I hope that one day her parents can realize that they have an amazing, wise, and creative daughter. Enjoy!
“It’s hard not to become angry when we see the pain and suffering caused by those who say they care about us.” [This quote came from my post, “Freedom and Death are in Different Realities.”]
“That line really resonated with me. I’m at this stage where I see the beliefs in my head that were imposed on me by my family, the people who say they care about me. The fact that they taught me to believe so much bullshit and have no idea of the damage it caused me is what drives me crazy! I was told, and I quote, “We’re your parents, we’d never steer you wrong.” It’s like someone who thinks their hugging you, but they’re actually kicking you in the face. It’s insanity!
I know my parents aren’t evil people. I feel that they do want what’s best for me, but what they think is best for me is the same as what other false authority figures in their lives lied about was best for them.
I’m a junior in high school, and I’m trying to motivate myself to push until senior year. In senior year, I will be able to pick classes I actually want to do. It’s sounds worth it, I only have to push until June 6th; but I just don’t have the energy to bother with school anymore. My mind won’t focus. I get irritable at the mere mention of schoolwork.
All I want to do is write, paint, and draw. I want to learn how to play the guitar and create music. I want to learn how to sew and fashion my own clothes. I want to go outside and enjoy nature and animals. I want to stop being so shy about dancing and singing. I want to be free; I want to create. More than anything, I want to let go of all of my harmful beliefs so that I can do all of those things and enjoy them and live life to the fullest.
Instead I’m stuck in school, wasting my mind on information that I don’t need or want at the moment and probably won’t remember as a result. I feel stuck. I don’t want to rustle any feathers in my family. But on the other hand, I know that I wouldn’t be the true cause of their disappointment; their beliefs are the true culprit. Despite knowing this, I’m still uncomfortable with just dropping out of school and going my own way.
I still have unresolved fears about school determining my future, and I hate it. What do I do after quitting school? Get a job? I can’t do that without graduating, and I don’t want just any old job. That would be no different from being in school. I’d just be wasting my life on doing things I don’t want to do again.
What if I start my own business? How do I do that? What would I even do? Paint? Artists don’t seem to make much money. Make comic books? I’d love that! But how would I publish them? What else is involved in such a pursuit? What about making video games? I’d love that too! But how do I do that? I don’t know the first thing about designing or developing a video game. All I have are ideas. What about making music? But I don’t know how to play any instruments yet. What about doing all of these things? How the hell would I manage that?
I wouldn’t know what to do with my life after school, and I feel like I’m running out of time. My mother insists that I have all the time in the world; and that she’s not going to just kick me out of the house to fend for myself after school. I’m thankful for that, but I don’t want to be that kid who lives with their mom. I’d feel like a lazy leech. And most of all, if I quit school, I’d feel like I would be proving everyone’s belief right that I couldn’t be anything without school. It’s like I’m damned if I do, and damned if I don’t; and I feel like I’m going to need a straitjacket soon!
Family are supposed to be the ones that support me and encourage me (or so I’m told); but I feel like they do the exact opposite by telling me I can’t live a fulfilling life without graduating. I can’t do what I want to do without first doing what everyone else wants me to do.
I feel angry at the people in control of the way society and school functions because I feel like these elitists are telling me that without succeeding in this concentration camp they call an education system, I am not worthy of living at all. Who is anyone to tell me what my future will or won’t be just because I don’t jump through their hoops, just because I don’t meet their requirements for a worthy human being to make a living? That’s not *fair*. But the last time I dared to say something wasn’t fair, I was shut up with the knee jerking response of, “Life isn’t fair!” Courtesy of Father dearest, of course.
If life isn’t fair then what sick, selfish, monster of a person would bring children into a world where pain and suffering is their only destiny? I’m angry at my parents for bringing me into this world and lying to me with smiles on their faces. And at the same time, I feel guilty for being angry at them because I know that the last thing they ever wanted was to hurt me.
Part of me is furious that they are responsible for the reason I wasted so many years of my childhood being afraid and full of harmful beliefs. Another part of me is furious at myself because I share the blame for my life too, I was the one who accepted the beliefs to begin with.
I don’t know what to do anymore. I want to let go, but my mom, dad, or sister are always there ready to enforce the fearful beliefs I have about school and my future. I know the beliefs are false, but I can’t seem to let go. What am I doing wrong?
P.S. Sorry for the long comment. I have so much going on in my mind; and when I try to express these thoughts to my family, they don’t seem to understand. These unresolved feeling are driving me crazy. I truly appreciate you giving your time.
Now if any part of you is judging her email, shame on you! I wrote back to her with tears in my eyes. I just wanted to hug her. This was my reply:
I have been where you are. I hated school more than I thought was humanly possible to hate anything when I was your age. Then I found things that I loved to do, and I found that I did have a zest to learn. I was finally able to allow my True Self to lead instead of other people’s expectations. But that is hard to do when you are still at home and in school.
Here is what I know now. It is possible to let go of their beliefs in your mind so that you get answers to all of those fears and obstacles that you see. Wise people know how to learn whatever they need. When we are in the feminine role (like a child or student) we are told we have no power. We feel we have to believe others, but we can use that time to discriminate. We can let go of their beliefs and get free without having to change those who have power. We can learn to trust our emotions to tell us when they speak something false. And we can laugh to ourselves as we recognize they have no power in their beliefs, and what they’re saying is mostly ridiculous, useless information. Sad, but reality.
Then when we finally break free, we can make up for all of that lost time and prove that life on planet earth is not about suffering. Sadly, they got tricked; and they want our company in their misery. Their misery isn’t your problem, but I can tell you love them. If you get free, you can help them dig out too by expressing your wisdom and creativity. They will learn from your pure example.
In a strange way, we must learn about the illusion so that we can build the notion of escaping it into our writing, art, music, and designs. Treat this time as a time to learn how to discriminate, let go, and see what is true; then you will use that knowledge in your creating and do your part to heal the world.
If you are willing, I would like to post your comment on my site as an example of a very wise young adult that is stuck in a false world created by older adults. I think it would wake up a lot of parents. Adults don’t realize how brilliant their children are. Parents and teachers should be learning from them, and instead they think they need to teach them.
My gosh, please don’t lose that zest for life. Please do create, draw, sew, and design. That is the purpose of life. And sometimes, we have to hold on to that knowing until we get into a place where we can express it. School is about knowledge; and I totally recognize that knowledge is just plain stupid when you have wisdom. But you aren’t lost; your wisdom is there; and it will take you where you want to go when the time is right. I predict great things for you. Keep me posted and by all means write to me if you get stuck. You are far to precious to waste. Love, Cathy
This Post Has 5 Comments
I could have written that email just a few months ago, and I’ve just turned 48, I certainly could’ve written it as a teenager. In fact, I’ve never met a teenager that didn’t think at least some of those thoughts.
I’ve now been deliberately letting go for 2 years, and one of the hardest things to deal has been a) the anger at my parents for giving me all those crappy beliefs AND the desire not to hurt them, not to throw all the pain of those beliefs back in their faces, cos they’re really not bad people, just stuck in the illusion, and thinking that’s all there is.
I’ve let go a ton around that. and, as you say, each time you truly let go, more compassion flows through you and you begin to see that they really are even more trapped than you were.
I let go a of a big self label today, that I hadn’t even realised I had – ‘I am a thinker’ oooh, did I fear letting that go! it was my ‘protection’ – NOT. it was my identity!
I’m now basking in the warmth of my True Self, I don’t really know ‘who’ I am, Imaginer feels nice at the moment.
But I do know now that possibilities are opening up all around me and that feels very good.
I do hope the teenager let go and let go and is already at least free enough to be learning and doing what she truly wants, but if not, I’m here to let her know, it really is never too late.
To Freedom, Love and Truth.
Many thanks, Cathy, for helping me find my way back to Me.
That’s wonderful Rachel. Those big ones feel so good when they go. Yes, I’m still in touch with this teen; we communicate frequently. She has worked hard on letting go, and she is becoming more awesome every day. Love, Cathy
The fishbowl metaphor really helped me with how i percieve my family and their beliefs. Their views seems so true and so real. But when I look at each of them as a fish in a bowl, their beliefs start to become just that, THEIR beliefs instead of the truth. The metaphor reminds me that their world view is limited and I shouldn’t feel ashamed for not wanting to conform.
It also gave me a new perspective on “bad” people. One of the subjects I’m trying to let go in is the victim/villain mentality. I think my emotions come from a belief in powerlessness, because when I imagine myself as the victim, my sense of power and control feels threatened. However, when I imagine them as fish in a bowl, they don’t seem very powerful.Their attacks feel less about me and more about themselves.
On another note, you mentioned that you had to let go of the belief in death and ageing. Does that mean we’re not meant to die either? Does that mean the circle of life is a lie too? If no body dies then wouldn’t the earth be overpopulated? What would we all do for an eternity?
Glad the fishbowl metaphor helped. Yes, you are right, it does help us to see those who look bad as merely powerless and that helps us regain our power.
It is a good question about aging and death that you just have to let go to see. You see if you get beyond death, then nothing is impossible so you don’t necessarily have to live on earth. We might not need food at that point. Who knows? We could also create whatever we needed or wanted? And it appears that we’re all just coming and going, dying and being reborn again. And as you’ve noticed, being a kid often feels like prison anyway. If we knew that we were going to be here, we’d probably treat the earth a lot better. I don’t have the full answer on that one yet, but I know aging and dying as we see it now doesn’t feel good. If we’ve got creating to do, then why stop? It is a question that is fun to work on because as you let go you see that overpopulation also doesn’t feel good so it probably isn’t true either. I’ll let you know when I get the final answer. Love, Cathy