The Clone and Projection

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This topic contains 26 replies, has 8 voices, and was last updated by  Damien 2 months, 3 weeks ago.

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  • #4146

    Damien
    Participant

    Hey all,

    The work around the clone has been interesting to say the least. I knew of them and understood the roles, personalities/personas. I have one with freinds, I have one at work, I have one at home, one that blamed the parents for my current life ect ect. One that keeps me safe (so it would have me ‘believe’).

    Before I understood the clone, well, understood it more, I had let go alot around my parents, namely my dad. I covered a lot of ground in the writing. I learned by the 2nd article that I had developed a clone from my early childhood, this is the one that kept me safe. It’s helped me develope a strong masculine role from the false self. This was the one that if things were going good, better be ready for shit to hit the fan! As I let go around this, I’ve come to see my dad’s trueself under his clone. It’s strange because it’s so clear. What became clearer by the second clone article is that my ‘I’ll keep you safe clone’ was my dad’s complete opposite in the physical. What was also interesting is it carried traits from my dad’s false self but, just applied them in a way it thought was better, good, honest. Of course I’ve also realised it’s bullshit. I’ve gotten clear on a lot of that. The relationship with my dad is clearer, to me.

    I’ve realised that my clones have run key elements of my life and what it is now. Like the ones I mentioned. I’ve let go around a lot of the crap growing up, I’ve found an ending to a lot of them so the mini stories are becoming complete. Now I’m hitting ‘now’ and I can break these down into 4 areas. This is because the clones different in each one. Or rather it handles them differently. I tried to tackle all 4 and It was actually exhausting and bought up fear. I recall some one on the call saying something along the lines of ‘fuck it, stop trying to find things it’s tiring’. I hit that too.

    I keep coming back to this point. I don’t want to use the word boredom because it doesn’t explain it well. It’s like waiting, in a sense. Waiting or trying to make that link. A link to these bigger ones. They seem tied. It’s like a house of cards. These bigger clones are linked to a structure that is currently my life. A fear that, I don’t wanna knock all the cards down at once, I want to dismantle the clones bit by bit. I can’t seem to figure out if this is my ‘keep me safe clone’ chucking words into my shell like (cockney slang for ear) or I need to keep letting go around these thoughts. Hard finding the cause or that link.

    I’m not emotional. Well, anger seems to be the predominant one that has faded a ‘lot’. This (emotion) is strange as well because leading up to and on calls I’m ‘filled’ with it! I don’t know where the fuck it comes from and my heart pounds. I laughed when Phil mentioned it on a previous call regarding himself. It scrambles the questions I have. I havent worked out if this is a clone in my life getting pissed off with being exposed either @Phil. When I find them, their getting kicked out the clone closet! But emotions when they do arise i sometimes get stuck on things like: ‘it’s false, but is it false because I want to do it or don’t, do I need it or not, is it because I hold a belief or them?’. These have become less frequent. I think my discriminating the event/conversation is becoming more of a natural response.

    Maybe that ‘trying’ to force a shift thing or looking for an answer is coming up again.

    What I will say, to you Cathy, is thank you for the blogs and GC. I dunno, I can’t really put into words what you’ve helped me to understand. Letting go, big or small, is really starting to allow me to be my trueself. It’s like waking up and remebering. Really strange yet familiar. I notice this more with my 3 year old. I just feel more connected with him. His like a little teacher to me. He teaches me things all the time or, reminds me is perhaps the better word. Causes some friction with the missus when she calls him a good boy. “Is he? He was just being hiself, why was that ‘good’?”. I get some choice words to let go after that ūüėā

    • #4155

      Cathy
      Keymaster

      That’s all normal stuff Damien. With the boredom, It might be that your false self is calling your True Self boring. It is strange. I kept looking for my old sense of self esteem. Now, I don’t ever have any real feeling of “Yes, I did it.” What I do is just what I do; there is no role or feeling of it being a good or bad way to make a living. It’s very strange. When I was a false self, I would really almost feel high when I completed my to do list. So my mind was looking for that same high. My friends are often very proud of their careers, and I never feel that either. Then I let go that self esteem was something we needed. It was just a psychology thing anyway, and the angst over not having it was gone. It is strange when you go this direction because things that others say are good are just good for the illusion. So you might not be bored. It might be your false self thinking that you need action or drama. Does that make sense? It is tricky to explain.

      It is like you say with your child. He’s just being himself. That is probably the best validation. Children just look so different; and that never changes.

      I’m glad it is making a difference. That is my best reward, people getting to be their True Self again. Cathy

      • #4157

        Damien
        Participant

        Makes sense Cathy. I was going to write something on the ‘Good and Bad’ but, thought I had wrote enough ūüôā

        Ah, the to do list feeling. That’s becoming a less and less of a thing for me. I used to write down in order of priority, now I can’t remember when I last did one physically or mentally. Feels much calmer.

        I tend to catch the thoughts more on what appears exciting, good or the opposite and immediately question this in my mind. Why did I think that was good or exciting and by what definition? I let go around the answers. The thoughts along with any emotion dissipates. The angst or excitement is gone. With my questioning of my mind, I suppose this is where those ‘boredom’ thoughts creep in. Or maybe my clones distracting me from the bigger things I need to work on.

        Thanks for the response Cathy, made a lot of sense.

  • #4093

    Iulia
    Participant

    Hi Cathy and everyone,

    For now I am assimilating and trying to learn to let go. This program I overwrote that letting go is “good” for me and it is possible, it’s something that my mind understands and it works. I think these days, after 4 months, I did it, my mind has found a way to let go. I know when I let go because I feel I can breathe, my mind is clear, the head pressure is gone and I feel peace. Now I only have to do it more often , lol. I also solved a problem with a strong hip pain that came all of a sudden…it was my mother pain, it finally downed on me after a week, all my childhood I heard about her hips pain- it was about having too much to carry in life. It went away like a charm after finding the belief but I almost went to the doctor just before. My priority is the tachycardia with numbing fingers, but this has proved harder to pin.

    But I wanted to let you know that I see some progress, here in the land of the clone/s, and to thank you.

    I do have a question. Do you think it is a useful strategy to get friendly with the clone? That part my mind developed to fix the “evil” in me and all around? I feel compassion for it, I see how lost I was and how much useful it was to think of myself “good and holy” than “bad and condemned”, how this kept me functional . But I don ‘t know if it is not a trick.

    Also, will there be a recording of your last call? I can’t wait to listen to it.

    • #4156

      Damien
      Participant

      .

    • #4107

      Cathy
      Keymaster

      That’s really good news. Yes you found the cause of the hip pain, and it couldn’t hang out with you anymore. That’s what happens. With the other, just keep working on it. Put your attention on it lightly and just listen. But don’t be discouraged if it takes awhile. Some physical things are trickier than others.

      I definitely have compassion for clones. I get why they happen. But I’m not inclined to make friends with them. In dealing with them in mentoring, I found the only way to unravel them was to be truthful and call their game. They have clever tricks, and if they feel the tricks work, they keep doing them. But if you say, “hey clone, I’m on to you,” then they drop that game after they whine a little for being exposed.

      I think it is important to see that the clone is a barrier to freedom. I view all freedom as good. So exposing it is giving it freedom too. Hope that helps. Cathy

    • #4106

      Cathy
      Keymaster

      That’s really good news. Yes you found the cause of the hip pain, and it couldn’t hang out with you anymore. That’s what happens. With the other, just keep working on it. Put your attention on it lightly and just listen. But don’t be discouraged if it takes awhile. Some physical things are trickier than others.

      I definitely have compassion for clones. I get why they happen. But I’m not inclined to make friends with them. In dealing with them in mentoring, I found the only way to unravel them was to be truthful and call their game. They have clever tricks, and if they feel the tricks work, they keep doing them. But if you say, “hey clone, I’m on to you,” then they drop that game after they whine a little for being exposed.

      I think it is important to see that the clone is a barrier to freedom. I view all freedom as good. So exposing it is giving it freedom too. Hope that helps. Cathy

      • #4141

        Iulia
        Participant

        Ok, not getting friendly with the clone.I guess I want to avoid the whining. When you exposed my clone in my first message on the blog ( I was describing/projecting my deep web story), I whined quite a bit after. But this knowing that emotion means false is incredible, is the most precious thing I have ever learned.

        Iulia

        • #4144

          Sarah Storey
          Participant

          Hi Iulia i think you’re to be commended for how you come across, for taking things on the chin and making progress. It’s not to be patronising just wanted to be encouraging.

  • #4041

    Rachel Atkins
    Participant

    Hi Cathy,
    Thank you so much for this article. I have a much better understanding of the Clone and projection now. But it’s also raised more questions for me.
    I‚Äôm really intrigued by the bruise you received. If I‚Äôd read that 3 weeks ago I‚Äôm not sure I‚Äôd have believed it was possible. But, on the Monday before you posted this, I got a horrible sty in my eye. I almost immediately related it to a conversation I‚Äôd had (less than an hour before the sty ‚Äėappeared‚Äô) but, at the time, thought it must be that I was supressing feelings/beliefs about the person/situation/call. (It‚Äôs why I asked you on the last call if I could‚Äôve been projecting anger that others were expressing but that I wasn‚Äôt feeling.)
    It was a real eye-opener (if you‚Äôll excuse the pun!) Playing the character game with the person I‚Äôd had the phone conversation with brought up all sorts of thoughts and beliefs that I‚Äôd never have suspected were there at all ‚Äď even though at the time of the conversation I didn‚Äôt believe half of what they actually said. It was a pretty brief conversation ‚Äď maybe five minutes, but there were so many beliefs and thoughts and judgements wrapped up in it – all flying my way! I‚Äôm definitely beginning to understand why I‚Äôm so tired all the time, as you‚Äôve said before, most people are projecting most of the time, and completely unaware that they‚Äôre doing it!
    Anyway, my question is: how does a projected thought end up manifesting as a physical injury? Is it down to the strength of the projector‚Äôs belief? Is it that there is some underlying aggression towards the receiver ‚Äď they ‚Äėwant‚Äô to injure you? Is it that as you let go of beliefs you become more sensitive so that even though you‚Äôre not consciously aware of the projection in the moment, your body more readily expresses what you‚Äôve received. (I‚Äôm thinking this, because I associate a sty with childhood, really, and as a child you‚Äôre more your True Self.)
    I’m also wondering about long term physical symptoms/conditions. Can these be caused by the projections of others? And if so, how do you find out what the projection was if it happened years ago, and you’re not even sure when? When there isn’t an immediate physical effect from it? I’ve been hunting for beliefs relating to various physical issues for over a year, and whilst it’s uncovered many beliefs that I’ve let go of, the issues are still there. So I’m thinking approaching it as if they’re a projection might help, but so far, nothing has come up. Are there any particular questions that you’ve find useful for finding old projections?
    Is there actually a way to know whether a physical symptom is caused by your own suppressed emotions/beliefs or by another‚Äô projection? Or do you just ‚Äėhunt‚Äô from both sides, as it were?
    Writing these questions I‚Äôm getting a belief coming up that they‚Äôre stupid and I ought to know myself and not ask them‚Ķ Which I am sure is someone (one of those old projectors?) not wanting me to get free. I think I know who too. So I‚Äôm posting these before ‚Äėthey‚Äô convince me not to, and I‚Äôm going to look at why they don‚Äôt want me to be free.
    And I’m going to look forward to the answers! Realising that a person in my past didn’t/doesn’t want me to be free has actually made me feel less stuck on this, cos this could be what has been blocking my progress in this area. And now I have an avenue to explore.

    • #4091

      laura
      Participant

      Cathy, the “end of the clone” article is fantastic! I am taking it in parts because there is so much there for me. I keep mucking around in the fear of speaking up. I speak up a bit and feel resistance and then back down. I feel a bit like an alien at times. I am getting closer because I don’t feel as bothered by it. Parts seems silly. Thanks for the encouragement!

      • #4108

        Cathy
        Keymaster

        Yea the clone is very tricky and most don’t even see it at all. But as you see it, everything start to make lots of sense. The fear of speaking up is so common because the clone can be pretty tough. It often judges, labels, or punishes. So we just have to keep letting go until we realize they won’t harm us. They are powerless. Cathy

    • #4050

      Cathy
      Keymaster

      That’s a long one so I’ll answer it generally. The next post is also on the clone, and I go into the physical a little more.

      In the case with the bruise, the person did desperately want to hurt me. I think my body manufactured what he was thinking. I did that at the time on a regular basis…it was with my ex. So it wasn’t the emotion was punching me, like a ghost. It was more that I was feminine to him, and I manifested what he thought I should manifest. It is the same as if someone issued you a curse. You think they are an authority, and so you take the curse and then manifest it. This stuff is really old.

      Sometimes physical symptoms are metaphors. But in my experience they all come from projection in some way. Often we’ve held the belief for a long time. You just have to keep working on it. In the case of some things, it can take years. Each time you let something go, you get closer. So any of the techniques are fine.

      Absolutely, the clones in our lives depend on us staying weak, small, or sick. They don’t want us to be free. And it often feels like there is a real battle going on. It is confusing because people make all these reasons for what is happening, and most of them are wrong. It is really just thought going from mind-to-mind. It is all thought. Sensitivity is natural as you reconnect with your body. You do feel the emotions that you didn’t feel when you took in the beliefs. But that super sensitive bs is really people who believe everything and don’t let anything go. That’s pretty much the entire liberal party in America because they think that all beliefs are true and we are all one at the false-self level. So don’t mix those up. You are probably just feeling more than before because you are more aware of your emotions. That’s good, just catch the psych reversals.

      I find that the more I just let go of whatever is there at the time, the more body things just go away. The goal is to purify your mind and then get your body to follow your mind instead of the minds of all those experts. If I work too hard on the body, it is sometimes harder because I think I focus too much on the symptoms. But I do sometimes use the pain or symptom as a focus like I described in western meditation. You can’t screw up. Trust whatever you feel like doing. Hope that helps. Cathy

      • #4056

        Rachel Atkins
        Participant

        Thanks Cathy,
        That validates what I was thinking. it just seemed so extraordinary to me (that someone could cause a physical injury just by being in the masculine position and somehow thinking ‘you deserved’ it) that I wanted to be sure I wasn’t ‘fantasising! – my ‘sensible clone’ does that a lot – dismisses things as fantastical nonsense, thankfully, I’m getting wise to it.
        And yes, it definitely feels like a real battle at times. But my own liberal Clone is pretty weak now, this whole thing at work has really been about me no longer fitting that tiny pigeonhole anymore. So it’s actually yet more validation that I’m getting free-r.
        Psych reversals do worry me. I find them the hardest thing to spot now, simply because you don’t feel emotion when you’re psych reversed. I do remember the win-win test, but often after the event, as it were, so I need to practise that more.
        I actually think now that I was often aware of people’s projections but had been trained to doubt myself on that, to ‘not be suspicious of people’ to trust others, not myself, – Ha! Dirty trick. No wonder I seem to have spent so much of my life feeling confused.
        it’s funny, I’ve been feeling like I’ve not had enough time lately to focus on letting go, but actually, when I think how much has changed in terms of my perception and understanding in just the last two weeks, it feels like larger and larger parts of the illusion are becoming really obvious to me. I don’t always know how to handle the fakery, and there is definitely still a fear of exposing ‘them’ – of ‘hurting them’. But I do feel like I’ve turned a big corner, and that the exit is no longer a seemingly impossible distance away.
        This article has really helped me let go of a lot and understand much more clearly how the illusion works, it’s my current go-to manual for dismantling the illusion.
        So thank you again. See you on the call tonight!
        Rachel

        • #4085

          Cathy
          Keymaster

          Just a quick tip on win-win Rachael since I had a conversation with someone about this today. Win-win needs to be applied at the mental level. Most people try to apply it at the physical. So you are just looking at your current thought and noticing, “Hum is that is win-win thought for all.” If you try to think up win-win thoughts or try to think about it from doing, it is very confusing. You use it the same as you use emotions, to test your current thought or belief. Cathy

          • #4092

            Rachel Atkins
            Participant

            Only just seen this. Thanks Cathy, you’re spot on. I do get stuck trying to find win-win in the physical, when of course, there usually isn’t one – and you end up with the dreaded compromise…
            Eventually I do remember that I’m looking for the mental win-win, but thanks for the reminder – very timely!

  • #3995

    laura
    Participant

    I have really made some progress in the clone area, but it sort of feels like I have taken a step back , even though I know it has been a breakthrough for me. I feel all this relief from discovering a really strong clone. My perspective has changed and has been shattered. This has felt a bit overwhelming but is finally settling a bit. Is this something that you have experienced?

    • #4051

      Cathy
      Keymaster

      Often when we have a big breakthrough, we think we’ve got some nice clear road ahead. Then another wave hits, and it feels like a set back. It’s not. It is just something else to learn, to clear, to let go.

      Sometimes, we clear something inside, and then we notice that the outer world feels like it is coming at us. It is just another piece to let go. So I don’t know exactly what you are describing, but I’ve learned to never judge where I’m at. I just kind of take it as the next thing whatever that is.

      Often what I’m letting go today doesn’t make sense until next week. But invariably it does all make sense. Cathy

      • #4090

        Damien
        Participant

        Ah Cathy, that makes so much sense. It can feel like taking steps forward only to feel like you go back. Feels like everything comes on top again. I got stuck on judging where I’m at when this happened. This lasted a couple of weeks until recently. I just kept letting go around the ‘stuck’ feeling and the thoughts that surrounded it. They still come up but, not in the enormity that they were.

        The thing that made this trickier was trying to apply a technique to this. It wasn’t until other posts here and another one of your responses that I realised I was doing this. I had to re-read the posts to let go of these thoughts. I re-read them because seeing other posts, relating to my own mental blocks, offered my clone justification for these thoughts and emotions. I wasn’t letting go of them.

        I’ve recognised this is what my clone does, it applies reasoning and thinking behind everything but, I can see the patterns more clearly now and manage to catch a lot of the thoughts behind the thoughts, if that makes sense. This is normally helped with the questions ‘Why would I think that or do that?’. I see that, with questioning, my clone brings up more questions. Like clutching at straws almost or trying to find reason for the original thought. And I let them let go. Just starts to feel lighter as I do.

        • #4109

          ashley
          Participant

          Reasons. Reasons. Reasons. Bleh =P

          I also have a very intellectual clone that thinks it’s helping me by trying to find holes in letting go. I’m still not entirely sure where that comes from. I can remember arguing with my 7th grade math teacher about something… In front of the class (not a serious argument; there was a comedic element to it). And he said, “You should be a lawyer!”

          I remember getting into debates with my dad and enjoying it. My mom was always like, “Oh you two! Stop.” It made her uncomfortable, but it wasn’t a big deal to us.

          I think there is a part of me that likes exposing incongruence. But arguing, in and of itself, would be at the bottom of the triangle between right and wrong. Something I want to work more on.

          When I turn “the lawyer” against letting go – it’s not helpful at all. It judges it as if it’s a process instead of something you just feel. And I kinda get why it’s doing that. I mean, my clone has “been burned” lots of times by new age practices that promised A LOT. And they didn’t deliver. It thinks it’s being helpful.

          But it’s kind of like the same mind that created the problem… Trying to understand and get out of it. Just doesn’t make sense.

  • #3940

    Amanda
    Participant

    My husband showed up to my most recent character game dressed up as a clown.
    This was after an argument took place last night where I know for sure I did better at rejecting his projection because he got very angry and started yelling at me. He’s almost always completely cool, calm and collected and I wind up the one yelling every time, never knowing why. I thought it was just because he was never hearing me, but now I think it’s more than that.
    Some of the lies I didn’t catch until after he finally left the room, but I realize that’s okay. I will get to the point he can’t lie to me at all.
    And I know too that I need to work on not fearing HIS fear. I had the cold sweats and was shaking the entire time, but I worked really hard to not let myself get confused. I’ll do better next time.
    I also had some quiet support pop up out of nowhere late last night and this morning. I feel so grateful and more confident that things will fall into place if I don’t lose sight of my own mental freedom.
    I thought I’d share, this is serious progress for me.

    • #4040

      Rachel Atkins
      Participant

      Hi Amanda, I want to thank you for posting this. The first time I read it (not long after you posted) I wanted to write and thank you, just because it was so wonderful to read. I could really feel you reclaiming yourself, your power. I also wanted to say that I’d been in a similar relationship and could understand how crazy it can make you feel. But it didn’t feel appropriate at the time, though I wasn’t sure why, so I didn’t post at all.
      Last weekend, when I finally had some time to really think, I realised that whilst I had escaped that relationship years ago in the physical, I had, in three years of letting go, avoided really looking at it. Seems I was still scared of the guy. Scared of looking at why I felt so trapped in it, or how I even got into it in the first place. So I made a start and have started letting go and reclaiming my power from a guy I haven‚Äôt seen in years. There‚Äôs more to do, I know. But I‚Äôm no longer terrified of ‚Äėgoing back there‚Äô. So thank you for prompting me to look at something I‚Äôd still been afraid of. That I‚Äôd tried to pretend to myself ‚Äėwasn‚Äôt relevant anymore.‚Äô It‚Äôs taken courage to do it even now, so I really want to acknowledge your courage in doing this whilst it‚Äôs ‚Äėin your face.‚Äô
      Thank you ūüôā

      • #4052

        Cathy
        Keymaster

        That’s good to look at Rachel. Those old relationships were often the meeting of our baggage. So if we look at what pulled us together, we can see the two sides of the triangle. Makes it easier to let go. Cathy

      • #4048

        Amanda
        Participant

        I’m glad that was helpful for you, Rachel. I was able to get myself in a more comfortable position for now and I worked on some smaller issues and caught up on rest. I just started a new position at work that scares the crap out of me, so I am trying to refocus on that now. There’s a lot to work on.
        I think I’m going to be glad for having such a boring life so far as I work into these really deep issues, haha!

    • #3949

      Cathy
      Keymaster

      That is awesome Amanda. That is getting your power back and being in the game in a difficult relationship. It is wonderful. I’m smiling!

      It’s funny because I was working on a post last night that is also related to the clone and I kept writing clown so I just went with it. It is pretty much that way. After all clowns usually have a painted smile on their faces, but they aren’t really happy. Most people feel terrible around a clown.

      • #3950

        Amanda
        Participant

        I thought for a long time the only reason I didn’t just kill myself was because I was scared to leave my kids alone with him. I don’t believe that so much anymore, I think what I really wanted is just to live a real life! And what that means to me does not match what his definition.
        I thought I was the big clone and the stupid, weak one. I thought if I just kept helping others, eventually someone could help me too.
        I’m terrified because he’s been working really hard for years to lay a lot of traps for me. I knowingly walked into a lot of them. But my goal is to live my own life, not destroy his. I want to believe that that will keep me safe.

  • #3886

    Cathy
    Keymaster

    This is for questions and comments regarding GC-4 material…regarding the clone and projection

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