How to respond

Home Forums Help! I’m Stuck Forum How to respond

This topic contains 8 replies, has 4 voices, and was last updated by  Damien 5 months, 2 weeks ago.

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  • #3813

    Cathy
    Keymaster

    Do your best to respond from the heart. Letting go drops all the games. So you kind of moved from step one to step two. The group call GC-3 will go up today, and we do the character game in it near the end. If you do that first, you’ll be able to let go of any judgment you have of him, then your response will be perfect.

    Good editing on that question. You are getting more clear in your writing, and he will notice that as well in your writing and speaking.

    I had an email relationship with my dad for a long time while we worked some things out. That way I could let go and speak clearly. Over time, it all got worked out and now we have a great relationship again.

    • This reply was modified 5 months, 3 weeks ago by  Cathy.
    • #3840

      Damien
      Participant

      Thank you Cathy. It was a new one for me with my Dad. Took me a while to write the question, love how you see that lol!

      I spoke from the heart and it seemed to take him by surprise, in reading his responses that is. He seemed thankful. We are talking again, his giving me a lot to work on! I am keeping it ‘text’ to give me time to get clear on things that come up, for now.

      Thank you to everyone for their responses. Was really helpful.

  • #3793

    Rachel Atkins
    Participant

    hmmmm. What this brings up for me is the ‘must respond’ reflex. Which I’m guessing is coming up for you too, in some form. So, I’d say let go on that belief – I’m certainly going to add it to my list of things to let go of (working on something else right now, so it’s not pressing for me at the moment)
    The answer’s always the same, really? isn’t it. Notice the emotion, look for the causal beliefs, let them go.
    It’s just that sometimes we’re so caught up in the emotion/situation that we don’t remember to do that, or, it’s one of those beliefs that’s so ‘reflexive’ we don’t recognise it as ‘just another belief.’
    Not sure if that’s of any help at all, but thanks for bringing it up – It’s definitely something I need to explore and let go of.

    • #3797

      Damien
      Participant

      Thank you Rachel. This felt more to do with the false authority figure that no longer was. I’ve let go alot around emotionally charged thoughts from my childhood, most of which took me back to my Dad. I’ve spent a lot of time letting go round this so the interaction was different. I let go alot on day to day but haven’t yet grasped how to do this ‘live’ so to speak. Especially with the ‘old man’! I normally go away and spend time on writing. The text was pre-witten material.

      The ‘reflex belief’ was interesting because I could relate that to my initial response.

      Thanks again Rachel.

  • #3785

    Amanda
    Participant

    I wonder if you might find concern your response won’t satisfy him, that things might go backwards? That you won’t say the right thing?
    Personally, I always feel pressure to respond immediately and perfectly or I might not get another chance. So, that’s my experience in situations like that. Taking time seems to help.
    Hmm. Your question brings up some things for me to think about too.
    Sometimes it helps to thank the other for thinking of/writing to you. I think it sends the signal you are thinking about what they’ve said, and you have some time to keep working on it until you know exactly what you want to say.

    • #3786

      Damien
      Participant

      In some respect yes its giving the right response. But, it’s more to do with not getting him stuck.

      • #3787

        Amanda
        Participant

        I don’t think it’s your responsibility to keep him from getting stuck. Then you get stuck.

        Let go on the belief you can get him stuck. ūüôā

        • #3789

          Damien
          Participant

          No its not. That’s why everything I tried to write didn’t feel good. I let go around what you wrote to see it! When I went into it a little more I could see I wanted to fix what his feeling. Going to work on this some more to see why i thought this. Thank you for the nudge Amanda!

          • This reply was modified 5 months, 3 weeks ago by  Damien.
  • #3783

    Damien
    Participant

    Ok, not a question I expected to ask but, I’m stuck.

    I won’t go into ‘my story’ but, alot of it, I found in writing, took me to memories with my dad. Lots let go, still some work. After a recent encounter, after little to no contact in a while, it was different. It resulted in a gathering with family down the pub. Again it was different, we all just enjoyed being together, no drama. It was a great night, we laughed, we hugged and we all went our way. I’ve received a message from my dad since and it delves alot into his past around me. Was very remosreful.

    I’ll get to the point! I’ve never had anything like this from my dad so it seems all that projection has come full circle. I’ve let go around the message and amazed to see everything I figured out and let go in my writing has resulted in this. I’m not sure how to approach a response. Not asking for some one to write my response lol! I just want to know if any one else has encountered something similar.

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