Giving back projections

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This topic contains 2 replies, has 2 voices, and was last updated by  Benjamin Nichols 2 weeks, 5 days ago.

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  • #6473


    Hi Ben,

    I’m sure Cathy will have something to say bout this, but figured I could add something helpful. I can’t answer the question about intensity. But it seems to me they would still have their familiar coping mechanisms. So, they’ll notice the emotion however it comes up for them and will deal with it according to their belief system. Most likely, they will run away from the emotion, instead of running toward it like you have done in letting go.

    I let go a lot around this topic recently and am coming to the realization it’s just not my responsibility. That person does have a true self. And saying I’m tougher or can handle it better, is just completely unfair. They end up looking way better than they are, and myself way worse.

    So, let go of the thought that he would fall appart. It’s also helpful to remember that they already have the belief. You’re not giving it back in that sense; you’re just saying, “No, it’s false.”

    By holding onto the projection,and claiming it as your issue/thought, you’re keeping both you and him from unconditional love, freedom, true joy. It’s lose-lose.

    • #6515

      Benjamin Nichols

      Yeah that’s helpful, thanks Ashley!

      I have moved a bit towards the place of not seeing it as my responsibility since I wrote this thread.

      I’ll have a crack at letting go that he can’t handle it. It doesn’t feel good to see him as weak, even if his character wants to play the victim card!

  • #6460

    Benjamin Nichols

    I’m working a lot to give back my dad’s projection. A major block is the fear of what will happen to him if I do. Working through the thoughts coming out of his character has been really tough, his illusion is a real mess.

    So what happens when you give projections back? Do they feel this stuff with the same intensity that I’m feeling it? His character keeps telling me he can’t handle things, I think if he got hit with what I’ve been working on he’d fall apart.

    It’s really hard because I don’t want him to have to go through this. Is my mind just fucking with me? Is it only this intense for me because I want freedom? I noticed that his illusion hit me a lot harder when I thought of a desire I’d like fulfilled, so if he’s long buried any real desires, can I assume it won’t even affect him that much?


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