Fearing the Worst

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This topic contains 6 replies, has 4 voices, and was last updated by  Cathy 2 months, 2 weeks ago.

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  • #4828

    Cathy
    Keymaster

    Ditto what the others have said. I’d agree that it is a projection…not your thought. Usually there is just so much emotion on something like Katie, that you just have to really get conscious and just realize that the fear is telling you that it is a lie. It is just a lot of emotion and that emotion means false. I used to have this with my children. It was so much emotion, and I didn’t even think I could face it. But I would take it on my own terms. We kind of feel like the voice might be a warning or might be good. But it isn’t. So you have to see that the voice is false; then it gets easier. It is just a big liar that we got from someone else always. You can also look at the subject of worry. People often have a belief that fear or worry protects them. So if they don’t do it, the bad thing will happen. You can get to that by asking yourself, “Why do I worry?” “Why am I afraid?” That will take you below the fear, like Ashley suggested.

  • #4694

    ashley
    Participant

    Katie,

    I had something similar when I was little. I remember it starting around age 7 or 8. I would worry my dad would get in a car wreck on the way home, among other things. I also asked him to quit smoking because people at school said it caused cancer. It doesn’t. I let go around that topic recently and quickly found at the top of a Google search (after having already done the letting go) the words: Smoking does not cause cancer.

    Anyways, I assumed the thoughts were mine when I was younger obviously. Even into adulthood I would worry about him. But once I looked at my family history and started letting go it made more sense They covered up this huge fear of someone they love being taken away from them. Acted like they were all emotionally healed, happy and best buds with God (even spiritually superior), but it was a facade. I was just hearing what they were suppressing much of the time.

    Right now, I’m not sure if those thoughts were actually mine. They very well could have been my mom worrying about him (I actually suspect that more now). I also took on this weird responsibility of wanting to protect my dad. Regardless, the thoughts were false.

    Sounds like you need to go underneath the thought. Ask yourself why you think something like that could happen? Where did you get that idea? Why does stuff like that happen? That will probably take you to religion or some kind of blanket assumptions about life that are just false.

    -Ashley

    • #4695

      katie heimsoth
      Participant

      Hi Ashley,

      I ask myself the questions, and I’m just like, “I don’t know” repeatedly. I just feel confused, so I put the subject down. I defer letting go… it feels like a trick to not let go.

      Yesterday I was trying to go deeper with it, and this came up: if the thoughts aren’t mine, and I return the projection, the person I return the projection to probably doesn’t let go, and they will really manifest that awful reality, and then I’ll lose someone or they will or we both will, and it will be my fault. It’s false. I know it. But the emotion is still strong, so I’m going to have to be persistent until I fully let go.

      When I was young, my dad gave me the victim label, “poor Katie, her three older siblings give her a hard time” or “poor Katie, her mom gives her a hard time about her weight”. My dad always felt so sorry for me, so he treated me special because I was the “bullied”, the “underdog”. He was bullied when he was a kid, he projected that onto me. He saw himself in me. But it’s not true. He wasn’t a victim and neither am I. However, back then I liked the special attention he gave me. Now thinking back on it, it feels awful. Anyhow, sometimes when I try to let go, I drop down into the victim label and feel unable to let go. It’s like I want someone else to protect me and fend off the “bullies” (aka projections), like my dad did…Or like I thought he did.

      For a moment, while writing this, I wanted to use my dad as a reason for why I can’t let go… Which is false. I feel like I have a bit of work to do now. Lots to let go of.

      Katie

      • #4709

        ashley
        Participant

        Hey Katie,

        Yeah, that sounds like a trick. The “the person who originally thought this probably doesn’t let go” thing. I think you logically see that. So, just notice that that feels really bad and challenge your mind to drop it. p

        It also helps to put things into perspective by applying that kind of thought to everyone. What if every person believed that they couldn’t give back a projection just because whoever gave it to them would be harmed by it or wouldn’t know how to let go?

        Nothing would ever change! So, you could sit there and believe that. Your dad. His dad (or whoever gave him the thought). Once you see that it looks really dumb. And that is really the crux of the whole thing. It’s those kinds of beliefs that perpetuate “hell on earth.” Conversely, if you did let your dad’s thoughts go, and he did get that emotion back… he knows you! So, he actually does have someone to help him learn how to let go if he wants to.

        Something I’ve also heard Cathy say before is that you don’t control how the emotion goes back to them. So, it will show up for that person however it does. Then, they get to choose whether they reexamine their beliefs or deal with it however they choose.

  • #4684

    Damien
    Participant

    Hi Katie,

    Have you asked yourself if it’s even your thought? You said it happened when you were a child and stopped for a period when you left home. So maybe the thoughts aren’t yours.

    I worked on something recently and the more I let go around the subject, I started to feel a lot clearer on it. But then something that had been in my mind, that hadn’t surfaced for a long time, came back. As though the original subject had acted like an anchor for it. It bought up a lot of emotion around fear and anxiety which I knew were both false. I asked my self similar questions while letting go of the answers. It just seemed to keep coming back. 2 weeks had passed when my Dad popped into my head. His character was replaying a memory I had. I realised the thoughts that generated the emotions wasn’t mine, they were his.

    Cathy will be better placed to answer of course!

    • #4685

      katie heimsoth
      Participant

      Hi Damien,

      If I’m being honest, I should have let go more around my question before I asked. I do not think the thought is truly mine; however, when I think that, I feel tons of emotion. It’s a subject I’m currently psyched reversed on. I have a voice in my head telling me, if the thought is in my mind, I must take accountability. That feels awful and is not true. I get confused at this point and feel powerless to let go, also false. I think when I posted this, I was hanging out in the emotion and feeling helpless and wanted a lifeline. I think I wanted someone else to stand up to the voice in my mind because I felt powerless to do so. And again, all false.

      Anyway, thank you for reminding me to be persistent in letting go. I know if I continue to let go, I’ll get there.

  • #4663

    katie heimsoth
    Participant

    Hi Cathy,

    I’m stuck on a strange one currently. The background is this: since I was around four years old, I’ve had an unfounded, strong fear of my loved ones dying. So, when I was real young, I would wait for my dad to get off work, kind of obsessively. Everyday he would come home at exactly 3:45PM. If he was even a minute late, I would panic. My mind would go to the worst place. I would think he had died in an awful car accident. The fear and thinking the worst continued as I got older. I stressed about my parent’s and sibling’s safety if they did not return home exactly when stated. When I moved out of my parent’s home, the fear and anxiety revolving around my family’s safe return home disappeared. However, here recently, the emotion has come back. Now, I stress my husband’s safety if he comes home later then stated. I don’t get it. I’m confused. My thoughts don’t make sense, and I know they are false. But, I’m having trouble getting to the causal belief. I asked myself, “why would I fear my husband dying on his way home”? The answer is I don’t know… Seems pretty odd. Like I said, I’m really confused and would greatly appreciate some direction with this, thanks.

    Katie

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