Draining Emotions

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This topic contains 12 replies, has 5 voices, and was last updated by  Sarah 9 months ago.

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  • #4057

    Sarah
    Participant

    Hi Ashley, I know exactly what you mean. And yep I think you’ve answered it in that there’s a peaceful middle somehow. I think with the biggies that generate tons of fear you can only let go from the place you are at although I’ve found a few little tricks do help to create a small amount of distance and stop things being so overwhelming.

    I’m also with you when you say about feeling the emotions but then feeling as though you are stuck in it. I think that’s probably the clone kicking in there reminding you that what you are thinking is true and hoping you will fall for it?

    It can be quite tricky can’t it. I think my clone is the most stubborn thing in the world! ūüė§

    I’ve also found it quite tricky to raise a thought or belief and to let it go and the emotions drain and to know for sure that I no longer believe it anymore. I reckon that’s because I’ve had strong emotions about big fears and so one thought or belief replaces another in quick succession. So it felt for a long time that there was very little relief. But that could just be me.

    The clone I kind of view as a separate part of me but at the same time it feels like it’s me. I’m not sure if you or anyone else does. It’s a weird one.

    I love Cathys articles but I found the clone one a tricky one to folllow, sorry Cathy. And I couldn’t find many bits that related to me or gave me the aha moments that her articles usually do over and over.

    I’m hoping I’ll pick up some tips later on the call.

    • #4078

      Cathy
      Keymaster

      I’ll just answer all of these in general, kind of…not sure what you guys are really asking. I think you are all thinking too much. Remember, don’t turn this into a self-help technique. You can’t think your way to freedom. This is the unthinking website.

      The biggest problem that people have is that they have followed techniques that had a lot of followers. So those techniques felt like they had more power. You are all used to group think, and there is no group think in letting go. You have to fuel it with your True Self. On a deep subject, you don’t have much power so you have to stick with it until you break through and get some True Self in the game.

      Letting go, as any belief, only has the power you give it. The more you are in touch with your True Self, the more power letting go will have. Your True Self wants this to work. But the clone does not want this to work. So you have to kind of recognize that. Then it will work easier. We are doing something very strange. We are getting the false self to take itself down because until you take out some of the false self, you don’t have much access to the True Self. If you did, then you’d be letting go naturally.

      Of course, you have to find what works for you. That’s why I offer lots of ideas, and it is fine to modify them to suit you. Just be careful. I have had people do that and not let anything go because they were actually doing some other technique that they liked better, and it wasn’t getting them outside of the illusion. I would trust them only to find out they were not doing crap.

      If you get outside of the illusion on a topic, I assure you that you will not wonder if you have let go. You will be beyond insights and reasons. You’ll just know. So if you aren’t sure, you aren’t there. So let go “that you don’t know if you let go” first. Then start following emotion or watching your thoughts. Remember, there is no part of your false self that wants to take itself out. It is like asking a military person to go against orders. So you have to find a way to get your mind to undo itself. That’s what we are doing.

      Letting go should be light and easy, and it was for me until I got trapped in my husband’s thinking. When your True Self is in the game, it is light. It is easy. After marriage, it was very hard because so much was psychologically reversed. Also, I was more in the feminine role. When you are in the feminine role, you have more emotions, and you are connected to someone falsely in the masculine role around that belief. So you are trying to break that false self connection. Not only does your false mind want to stay alive, but their false mind wants your support. So it adds to the emotion and the difficulty. It is what it is.

      My husband’s mind was sure that there were things in life that were true and still felt bad. I suspect you are talking about such a belief. You just have to find out why you would think that…not from reasoning but where is the belief that says, “This horrible thing I just heard from another is true.” I suspect you are confusing reality and truth.

      I started by talking to myself and saying, “This can’t be true; it feels bad.” That kind of thing. But now I don’t have to do that. So whatever you use should be like training wheels. You don’t want to create a life practice. The goal is that one day you won’t even need this.

      Some people totally got the clone post and others did not. The clone is the biggest block to freedom. It imposes beliefs on us. If you didn’t get it, I’d let that thought go. You might have a clone that doesn’t want to be exposed; or you might be making clones in your life into True Selves. Both will keep you personally from freedom.

      If you did New Age or self-help things in the past, I can 99 percent guarantee that you have a clone that thinks it knows the truth about your body, spirituality, life, etc. It might not like being exposed.

      You also might not have much of a clone, you may be more feminine and so you are just dealing with a massive false self. But then you are probably taking projections from clones or you wouldn’t be stuck. As I say early in the first clone article. I’m writing for many people. So am I writing for a clone or for someone who is stuck in a clone’s world? Probably both. So on different topics, you might be a clone or might be at the effect of a clone.

      When you are confused, stop thinking about it. Go back to the basics…western meditation. Watch your mind or emotions and let go until you get some space and clarity.

      • #4080

        Sarah
        Participant

        Hi Cathy, okay thank you for me there are some tips there i can take and others I’ll have to go back to.

        Sometimes i wonder why letting go and feeling happy has been so hard for me yet before your husbands input was so easy for you. I can only think that I was totally embroiled in my false self and an illusionary world. So letting go has been from a body full of emotion as that was my state. Until I could find a way to calm it a little and then do letting go from that state and so on. So it hasn’t been easy.

        My other query or point is not entirely getting your clone article. I have to admit that i struggle with complex information – at school, in politics, in meetings at my work, some of your articles. Unless it’s said to me in simple terms i just dont get the language used. So I’m not sure if there’s a clone in place or just i don’t understand as my brain works best with simple.

        I’m just really interested to hear your views on if this now makes sense or am i off track?

        Thank u

    • #4066

      ashley
      Participant

      Hey Sarah,

      Thanks for your comment. I can relate to much of what you said. Especially this part: “I‚Äôve also found it quite tricky to raise a thought or belief and to let it go and the emotions drain and to know for sure that I no longer believe it anymore. I reckon that‚Äôs because I‚Äôve had strong emotions about big fears and so one thought or belief replaces another in quick succession.”

      That’s why I’ve been digging into beliefs about the subconscious or what would make me think I couldn’t let a thought go lately. I think everyone’s false-self mind works a little differently.

      But I’ve had to really look at this recently and get honest with myself, realizing what I’ve been doing (my approach to letting go of my most psych-reversed beliefs) just hasn’t been working that great.

      I think I do get on some level that all these thoughts are false. And I can see how the only problem ever has been holding onto beliefs and accompanying emotions.

      But the emphasis on looking at each thought, and making sure “I really get it’s false and doesn’t come back” has made me feel quite obsessive over examining my thinking sometimes. It’s like my version of letting go has turned into fighting with my mind to get it to believe me (when it comes to those big thoughts). It just hasn’t been helpful.

      Trying to convince my false-self to accept this new program that emotions mean false, instead of just feeling it and getting it. Still working on this.

      I think some people get a heavy dose of a certain emotion early-on. And the false-self comes to associate that emotion with the truth. That’s why the reversal is so strong.

      I’m sensing placing more emphasis on draining the emotions, and less on the thoughts (still noticing them when they come up, but not feeling like you HAVE TO CATCH every single one), would be better for where my mind is right now. Because it’s actually the hyper-emphasis on the thoughts that causes the feeling of “being stuck in emotion.”

      • #4079

        Cathy
        Keymaster

        I sometimes just tell people to just witness their emotions for a bit and let them flow. I suspect that is what Phil is talking about. I don’t use that term much anymore, but I think I used to. Sometimes, I just witness my emotions for awhile and no thought comes up, but usually I find that someone is projecting and my body was letting the projection in. So the question then is why?

        If I witness those emotions, I get to a thought from another person and I just let go of connecting with them. That happened a lot in mentoring as I felt responsible for getting people free. Now that I don’t do that, it doesn’t happen much.

        What is really happening is that there is a false thought that is causing emotion in your body. So you have to recognize that. That’s all. There is something false that you want to get out so the emotions don’t have to fire off their siren anymore.

        But if you are connected with another person around that belief (and usually we are because we got beliefs from others), and maybe they don’t want you letting it go. So I’d look at what connects you to that person. Or let go that they don’t want the belief gone. I actually found that my letting go often resulted in others getting freer because they did want their beliefs gone. But it is totally up to them.

        Think about it. You want freedom. So if your mind is just your mind then you clean it out. No big deal. But if you are falsely connected with others who don’t want freedom, then you want to let a belief go and they don’t. So you have to let go of wanting a false self relationship. This is why it is said that we fall in love. We take on beliefs with the other and connect falsely. Then we think the emotion we feel is chemistry. It is mutual misery. So we have this sort of bond with parents, friends, boyfriends, etc. We have to realize we only want True Self connections.

      • #4067

        Taylor Slay
        Participant

        Hi Ashley,

        I can only speak for myself but I pretty much went through everything you described in your posts a lot when I first started letting go. I would drive myself crazy trying to catch each thought. The only thing I can say is I think I was using Cathy’s words and tried to mold it into a technique of letting go. I think one day I just said screw it and said there’s no way my true self would make letting go stressful. There’s no way my true self would punish me for not feeling enough or knowing the difference between feeling and wallowing. My true self doesn’t care if I catch each thought etc. My true self wouldn’t punish me for anything. I can do what I want. The realization that “I can do what I want” brought up tons of emotion. That was a big clue for me. I just stayed with the emotion and realized that I had the emotion because I was punished earlier for doing what I want. Once I fixed that psychological reversal things changed. Now finding the beliefs and knowing what to do isn’t stressful or hard at all, but that doesn’t mean I can let go easily on everything because some things seem soooooo true. But I realize if my mind is telling me i’m doing it wrong or not the perfect way, it’s false! Cathy’s suggestion of asking questions to yourself helped me a lot too. My favorite being, “what do I think my emotions mean?”. I ask myself this all the time. Then I have no problem going into the emotion because I realize it’s not bad or painful, it’s just my body telling me i’m thinking something false (not bad).
        Anyways, I hope that made sense. It helped me to let go without the drama.

        • #4068

          ashley
          Participant

          Thanks Taylor. That was actually really helpful.

          The only thing I can say is I think I was using Cathy’s words and tried to mold it into a technique of letting go. I think one day I just said screw it and said there’s no way my true self would make letting go stressful. There’s no way my true self would punish me for not feeling enough or knowing the difference between feeling and wallowing. My true self doesn’t care if I catch each thought etc. My true self wouldn’t punish me for anything. I can do what I want.

          I feel like that is what my clone has done sometimes – made things into a technique or telling me I’m doing it wrong. I’m going to let go around this – thanks again =)

    • #4058

      Damien
      Participant

      The clone article had me come back a few times. From desires to the clone atticle, I can see how their linked and the thoughts surrounding them so working on this bit by bit. I got a little hung up on this. Then I realised these thoughts were repetitive and kept me in a loop. Then I let them go. And still am.

      I understand the middle ground comments in both posts but mine feels different. I’m not clear on this yet so won’t comment right now.

      • #4072

        Damien
        Participant

        I could relate to your posts Ashley. And Taylor, the response was great. Really helped in getting a little clearer.

        Thank you both.

      • #4069

        ashley
        Participant

        Hey Damien,

        Felt like I should disclose that I am Lorena B! I am she and she is me =)

        I think I told you I set-up a fake FB account after deactivating my old one. Lorena is the Italian version of my middle name (the language I am studying). Just wanted to say hi because you kinda already know me.

      • #4064

        Sarah
        Participant

        Okay Damien look forward to hearing your take on it.

        • #4073

          Damien
          Participant

          Yeah I recognised the picture ūüôā I did the same thing well, I created a new one where no one could search me. Strange to see now how my clone would do this to preserve a persona. I’m still working on this!

  • #4012

    ashley
    Participant

    Hi Cathy,

    I wanted to ask this question here, as others my benefit from hearing your answer. On a couple of the calls I’ve heard Phil and Kelly say something like “it’s just been a lot of draining emotions” and wasn’t really sure what was meant by that.

    Obviously, they are not talking about emotional release since that’s not what this work is about. I know they meant something more like watching the emotions while reminding themselves that means false.

    But, as long as I’ve been doing this, I still get confused sometimes around feeling the emotions for the purpose of letting go vs. wallowing.

    Sometimes it feels like I get caught on the issue like the bottom of the triangle. One Side:Feeling tons of fear around a thought to the point where it doesn’t feel I can let it go (I’ve almost pushed myself to do that sometimes, like, “OK, am I feeling all the emotion? I need to really feel it” but then feel stuck in it).

    Other Side: Almost seems my clone wants to jump ahead and get it; willing the calm feeling in my mind.

    I know you’ve said many times you can’t let go when you’re too emotional. You have to have some distance. The weird thing is once you DO get that distance, it seems like its hard for the emotions to stay very long. You can’t feel fear/anger at the same time as your watching it.

    So, would it be more accurate to say… We’re going back and forth between the observer and feeling the emotions?

    OR are we actually watching it and feeling it at the same time? Hope that makes sense. I feel like there is a peaceful middle here that is actually the truth.

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